It’s funny how two little lines can turn your world upside down in an instant.
Two little lines can force you to re-think everything: the job you do, how often you do it. The car you drive, the house you live in. The money you spend, the holidays you go on. The commitments you have, the favours you ask.
Two little lines have made their way into our lives on two previous occasions, but it was different then. We knew (or hoped) they were coming. We planned for them in advance. We had some idea how we would manage, how things would work out.
But when two little lines popped up on Thursday night we were not expecting them. No, not at all. But, there they were.
It was the day after Isla’s first birthday. The test was only a cheapy one – picked up for 99p as an afterthought. It was meant to confirm that I wasn’t pregnant. I never, ever expected to see those two lines, ever again!
But there they were, clear as day, as soon as the test was done. We didn’t know what to think, how to react. A 10.20pm dash to a 24 hour supermarket followed, a slightly dazed purchase was made and a Clearblue Digital confirmed both that I was pregnant and also that I am “at least” five weeks so.
Oh. My. Goodness.
The last couple of days have been a blur.
We can’t afford a baby
We haven’t got room for a baby
We already have a baby – she’s only just ONE!
What will our families say?
What will my work say?
How on earth will we afford childcare for three?!?!?
How will we cope?
We still haven’t got answers to those questions, to be honest. But after a lovely night away for our anniversary this weekend, everything is starting to sink in a little bit more.
We can have another baby, we will find room, we will work out a way to manage.
What we lack in space or finance we will make up for with love – not only from us, but from this baby’s sisters and his or her extended family.
So, there it is. Our family of four looks likely to be about to be come a family of five.