Eve’s birth story

Our third baby was due to make her appearance on February 13th, 2012. We had lots of comments from people about ‘Valentine’s babies’ but with our last two having both been very overdue (Lilly 11 days over, Isla 12), we weren’t holding out much hope of that!

Sure enough, the due date came and went without any hint of baby wanting out – and this carried on as the days ticked past and despite a sweep at 8 days over.

With Isla, the 10 days after her due date were filled with plenty of false starts and promising contractions which started in the evenings and disappeared as soon as I went to bed. But this time, being overdue was most undramatic. There were no positive signs, no contractions, no particularly hopeful aches and pains. We were pretty resigned to the fact that it would end in induction and we were just keen to get on with things!

I was booked in for induction on Friday, 24th Feb, at 3.30pm, but I was told to ring in the morning to see if they could fit me in any earlier. The consultant who examined me at 8 days over confirmed that they would be able to skip out the pessary stage and go straight to breaking my waters, which I was pleased about.

On Thursday, we knew it was going to be our last day as a family of four, and we had a really lovely trip to the zoo in the glorious sunshine – it was so warm we were even sitting outside eating ice creams! It was one of those days when everything goes right and we put the girls to bed thinking what a brilliant day we’d had and how much we were looking forward to the next chapter in our lives.

The next morning we took the girls round to Tony’s mum and dad’s house. It felt so emotional leaving them, knowing how much their lives were going to change too by the next time we saw them – especially Isla who couldn’t really have any concept of what was going on.

We called the hospital to see if we could go in any earlier – they told us to call back again at 11am. I went back to bed to get some extra sleep and Tony relaxed playing football on the computer. We called at 11am and were told it was busy on labour ward and to call again at 1pm. We started to worry that things might not happen at all that day - with Isla we were in the hospital at 8am waiting to be induced and it was so busy that we didn’t get to go up to labour ward until 1am!

We went for our lunch at McDonalds and then called again at 1pm. Great news – they told us to come in at 2.3opm! We went back home and gathered all our stuff together – suddenly the adrenaline was going and we both felt that strange blend of excitement and anxiety.

We arrived at the hospital at 2.30pm and were shown straight into a delivery room on the labour ward. It felt so strange looking around that room and thinking about everything that was going to unfold in the next few hours. I was worried about how long we might be there for – with Isla, although I was induced, by the time they got around to breaking my waters I was contracting pretty regularly on my own, but this time I hadn’t had a single contraction yet!

We got ourselves comfy and the very nice midwife said she would break the waters then give me an hour to see if the contractions started themselves. But when she tried to do it, she found she couldn’t, and had to ask a consultant to come and try. A female consultant, who also seemed very nice, came and did the job at 4.50pm. She told the midwife to give me two hours to see if things started up on their own, which I was pleased about. Then I was hooked up to the monitor (because of previous c-section I needed continous monitoring) but I was allowed to sit on a birthing ball. (I was so chuffed about this – in both my previous pregnancies I had imagined labour would involve bouncing away on a ball, it seemed such an idyllic vision, and I had never managed to achieve it in either of the previous two labours!)

In a bid to help relax me and therefore make me more likely to go into labour on my own, the midwife mixed me up a blend of essential oils in a footbath for me to try. This too felt extremely strange – essential oils and footbaths certainly weren’t ever on the agenda the last two times!!

After two hours absolutely nothing had happened – except my feet felt nice I asked the midwife for one more hour to see if that might make a difference and she agreed. I sat and bounced on my ball watching TV (until the midwife had to break the news to me that the bouncing was making the monitor lose contact with the baby and then I was told I could stay on the ball as long as I stayed totally still – easier said than done!)

After an hour still nothing had happened, not so much as a twinge. I was a bit fed up by this and just wanted to get on with things, so I agreed to the dreaded drip being hooked up to help speed things along.

A nurse arrived to put in a canula – three painful attempts later, it was in… and at 7.45pm the drip began its evil work!

By about 9pm the contractions had begun. They were painfully sharp from the start – not like the last two times when they began on their own so built gradually in intensity before the drip was introduced to really ratchet things up. Although I was pleased that things were finally happening I started to feel negative about things and was telling Tony that I didn’t think I could do this. Because the contractions had only just started and they were already pretty painful, and because I knew I was only about 2cm dilated at this point, I felt like I had such a long way to go with the pain inevitably only getting worse. I was already on the gas and air, which I seemed to like a bit better this time, although I was still worried about it making me feel sick, as it had done on the last couple of occasions.

Soon afterwards I was examined, and yes, I was still only 2-3cm. The contractions were about every 3 minutes and pretty unpleasant. I started to get the shakes. The lovely midwife was swapped over for a much more business-like one who immediately came in and doubled the dosage in my drip!

At this point it became clear that the monitoring was an issue again. Firstly, the monitor on my belly kept slipping and losing contact with the baby. Also, it was starting to show those all too familar decelerations in heartrate whenever I had a contraction. The midwife tells me she is going to put a clip on the baby’s head so they can monitor her better. At this point Tony and I both start to feel this is heading down a slippery slope… I am thinking that I still have so far to go, the pain is already quite a lot, and we are now on borrowed time trying to deliver the baby before the distress gets worse.

By now I am starting to go into my own world a bit – I feel a bit out of it even though I am only having gas and air – and trying not to use that too much for fear of being sick. I can’t be bothered talking to the midwife where before we’d been making small talk. I just want silence!

The midwife asks me if I’m ok for pain relief. I say I am for now, but I will want an epidural later. She asks me why I want to wait, and I say because I don’t want to have it too early because it can make a c-section more likely. She tells me that it won’t make any difference to how I progress, because I’m on the drip anyway, and that if I want one, I better get one now because later on they might be busy and I might have to wait a long time. In that case, I say yes… although I am slightly feeling like it is a bit early on and maybe I am a total cop out for wanting to get rid of the pain already.

The anaesthetist arrives quite quickly. Unbelievably, it is the same guy as the last two labours. We have mixed feelings about this. My first epidural was a disaster. It didn’t properly work and, when the labour ended in an emergency section, the epidural couldn’t be topped up, which meant I ended up with a general anaesthetic. The second time, this same man did me a brilliant epidural, which totally took away the pain but left me with just the sensation to push, which was wonderful.

Unfortunately, the brilliant experience wasn’t to be repeated. He puts in the epidural but immediately starts asking me lots of questions about whether or not I am feeling it working, and if so, is it working in both sides or just one side? I like to be positive and think that I can feel it starting to work, but it soon becomes clear that if it is working, it is definitely only working on my left side and not my right. It is about 10pm.

Next thing, the midwife says the baby’s heartrate is still dipping with each contraction, and calls in a doctor to look at the trace. He looks at it, looks a bit concerned but tries to be very reassuring to us and says they will give it a bit longer and have another look. We both feel a c-section is on the cards and I am a bit worried because the epidural is not the best. I do not want another general anaesthetic!

After this point, everything starts happening at once. I am in so much more pain, especially on my right hand side where the epidural obviously isn’t working at all. The midwife tells me to lie on my right to try and see if that moves the epidural over to that side, and if it doesn’t, she will ask the anaesthetist to come and top me up. I lie on my side and it makes things SO much worse, the pain becomes unbearable and it is at this point I start to lose it a little.

The midwife calls the doctor back because the dip in the baby’s heartrate is getting worse. She also calls back the anaesthetist to sort out my epidural. They arrive at the same time.  The doctor examines me at 12.3oam and tells me I am 6cm dilated. At this point, the pain is unbelievable. I am lying on my side telling them over and over: “I don’t want to do this, it hurts so much, please help me!” The doctor and anaesthetist are still there and then it changes and I have this huge pressure in my bottom which is impossible not to push against. Now I am panicking because I’ve just been told I’m only 6cm dilated and I feel like the baby is coming! I am now shouting: “It’s in my bottom – I’m sorry! I can’t help it! It’s in my bottom!!”

At one point I hear Tony say something like “Do you want me to get somebody?” and I panic! What does he mean “get somebody?” I’d assumed they were already here! (I am totally in my own world – later on Tony told me that the doctor and anaesthetist were there, but the midwife had run out of the room (to get somebody, it turns out). The doctor and anaesthetist were basically just standing there looking at me not sure what to do!)

The midwife comes back and tells me “Ok, if you want to push, just go for it”, but I am still so scared because I’ve literally only just been told I’m only 6cm! I keep asking her: “What’s happening? Will it be ok?” but the urge to push is so strong there is no fighting it anyway. The next thing I know the baby’s head is coming. I can’t believe it!! The pain is enormous as I can feel something very hard trying to stretch it’s way out, I push and the head is out… the cord is wrapped round her neck tightly, twice (hence the heartrate decelerations). The midwife tells me to push a little then pant as she wrestles to untangle the cord. I do exactly what I’m told. A few pushes later, at 12.51am, I feel the rest of the baby scrabble out… the relief is enormous… She is put straight onto me, she looks fine but doesn’t cry, they take her and give her a rub and she starts up with a VERY loud piercing cry!! Oh-oh!

Daddy holds her while they deliver the placenta & check me over. I can’t believe it when I’m told there is no tear - I was terrified I was going to be ripped to shreds because of the sudden arrival – but no, it seems I had literally gone from 6cm to fully dilated in a matter of minutes. She is weighed (8lbs 2oz) - then given to me for skin to skin. She is hungry straight away but gets very upset and squeals when we don’t get the latch right (even though she is my third baby I am no breastfeeding expert, having only managed to feed the other two for a little while myself).

Eventually she sucks for over an hour but still wants more so Tony dresses her in her first outfit, which she doesn’t seem to mind, then she has a little formula from daddy. She is totally alert & awake, although she does close her eyes while drinking as if she’s tired but fighting it. Eventually we are taken down to a ward where a midwife swaddles her & she falls asleep in my arms.

The last couple of hours have been so dramatic that it is only really once we are on the ward, baby sleeping so peacefully, that I can really appreciate what has just happened! Eve Daisy has arrived, another totally perfect little being we have created to make our family totally complete.

Tony goes home, exhausted, but neither of us can actually sleep for hours, we’re both far too wired after the dramatic events of the last couple of hours. We send each other lots of text messages about our beautiful new daughter and I send him pictures of her.

I was discharged early the next afternoon, taking our beautiful third baby home to meet her sisters. Our lovely family complete.

 

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Say hello to Eve…

Eve, one hour old

Eve Daisy was born at 12.47am last Saturday, weighing 8lb 2oz after a successful induction which began on Friday afternoon. My second VBAC!

The birth was really quite quick, once the contractions kicked in, and the pushing stage particularly so… in fact I went from 6-10cm and she was born all within 10 minutes!

She is, of course, completely gorgeous, and gets more so every day. So far we think she looks a lot like Lilly did as a baby, she has the same shape face and nose, and she has the same slight smattering of hair that Lilly had (not the dark mop of hair that Isla was born with!)

Eve also has an extremely impressive pair of lungs and can not only already cry louder than her sisters but she also has a fabulous high pitched scream in her repertoire – so glad she is not my first baby or I would be paranoid that she was in real pain when she wails for food / has her nappy changed!

This time I was able to come out of hospital the same day, which was really brilliant. She was born just before 1am and we went down to the ward about 3am so I did spend half a night there. But we were discharged and home early that afternoon.

Once we got home, the VIP visitors arrived – big sisters Lilly and Isla, who had been staying with Tony’s mum and dad.

Lilly meets Eve for the first time

Lilly’s reaction when she saw her little sister was just incredible – I’m sure I’ll never forget it. The look on her face was just total amazement and genuinely full of love for her newest sister. She just could not stop telling her: “You’re so lovely! You’re so cute! I LOVE you Eve”, it was such a fabulous moment. And when we asked her what she thought of the name we’d given her, she said: “That is just exactly the name I wanted you to give her!”

Isla was less instantly impressed – she didn’t really take any attention of the new baby at all at first, she just carried on as normal. But in the days since then she has taken a lead from Lilly and has been stroking Eve’s head and saying “aaaaaahhh”. She also asks where the baby is quite a lot – she looks for her in her pram or in her car seat and if she isn’t there she says: “Baby!?”

To be fair, Isla hasn’t really ever seen a baby before, not one much younger than herself anyway. I think at first she really wondered what ‘it’ was – maybe another one of Lilly’s toys or something? Somebody held the baby up close to Isla on the first day and she looked a little bit scared! And at first she didn’t want to touch her or go too close. But because Lilly has been so brilliant and so loving with Eve, Isla has copied her which has been a great relief. So far we haven’t really noticed any particular change in Isla’s behaviour – we had expected she might play up more because she’d be a bit jealous – but she has actually been brilliant. It has made us feel so happy to think of the lovely close age gap the three girls will have and that the foundations are there for them all to have a really great relationship – certainly Lilly could not be a more doting big sister, on either Isla or Eve.

And in terms of how the first week has gone, I think we’ve all done pretty well. We have had a few ropey nights where Eve wouldn’t settle in her basket but prefered to sleep whilst being held. And at first she seemed to be struggling a bit with her feeding, but with a little help from a nice midwife we think we have things sorted now. But we are now on day 8 and for the last few nights we have been putting her down to bed at the same time as her sisters (7pm ish) after giving her a bath to tire her out a little, and it seems to have helped her relax and go to sleep without too much fuss. Last night she woke up 4 hourly through the night, so it was bed at 7pm then wakeups at 11pm, 3am and then 7am. I don’t think you can ask much more of a week old baby!

We have also ventured out a few times as a family of five - there are some more logistics to think about than there were when there were only four of us, but actually it really hasn’t been too horrendous. I think we are doing pretty well, so far!

There have been a few other major developments in the past week - our house move is now definitely back on, and it also looks like Tony may be going back to work for a while, but I will post a seperate entry about both of those - so all in all it feels like a LOT has happened in the last 8 days.

And yes, the family feels complete. Eve is just the perfect addition and she could not be more loved, by all of us. I am feeling very, very lucky and very much in love with my perfect family.

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Last day as a family of four

That’s it: time’s up – tomorrow is Induction Day.

Today we have enjoyed a really really lovely day all together – our last proper day as a family of four.

The weather has been incredibly warm and sunny – 17 degrees on 23rd Feb! So we decided to go back to the zoo again for one final day out together.

It really has been one of those lovely family days where everything goes right – weather great, girls well behaved, everyone enjoying themselves and having fun. We decided to go and look at some of the animals and exhibits that we don’t look at all that often (we are members of the zoo so go quite a bit) and, even though it was half term for some of the schools where we live, the zoo was really quiet meaning it was easy to go and see some of the more popular animals that we sometimes miss out because of the crowds.

Isla has been really obsessed with snakes lately – she LOVES watching the Gruffalo’s Child and finds the snake hilarious, she’s also very taken with a ‘noisy’ Dear Zoo book we got from the library and the snake which goes “sssssssh” when you press the button. So we hunted down some snakes and had a look… we found two very lively ones who were sticking their tongues out at the girls, and one green one who was quite taken with Lilly and was dancing around by the glass trying to get at her… both the girls really loved it.

We played on the playground and spent some time in the Roman Gardens, where the girls were happy playing with a long stick each which they splashed in the little pools for ages, laughing together.

We even sat outside in the sunshine and had some minimilk lollies… wasn’t sure if Isla was going to like it as last time we tried ice cream with her she was still at the “too cold” stage… today she LOVED it and woolfed it just as quick as her sister, with plenty of accompanying “mmmmmm”s!

The girls were really good all the way there, sharing toys nicely in the car and laughing together, and were good when we stopped at a beer garden on the way home for a quick drink in the sunshine. They are now tucked up in bed and will hopefully have a good night’s sleep allowing us to get one too ahead of the all important day tomorrow.

The plan is that mother in law will collect them tomorrow morning first thing. We aren’t booked in to the hospital until 3.30pm, but we have to ring at 8am and, if they aren’t busy, we can go earlier. If it is going to be late afternoon we are planning to have a really lazy morning, hopefully getting some sleep if we can!

I’m not nervous or anxious – when it comes to the birth itself I believe what will be, will be. I am so, so, so excited now to meet our third baby girl… our last baby! Once she arrives our family will be complete.

And I am also chuffed that I finally managed to get an up to date picture of the girls together – this one is now the ‘wallpaper’ on my phone, which I know will bring a smile to my face whenever I see it over the next few days while I’m in hospital…

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Eight days later…

Today I am officially eight days overdue.

We had our appointment back at the hospital where they have done a sweep and confirmed that my cervix has softened and that, if it comes to induction, they should be able to reach the waters to break them without having to put in a pessary first. All good news!

As for the induction date – it has been set: This Friday, Feb 24, at 3.30pm. I have to ring at 8am in the morning and, if they aren’t busy, they may ask me to go in earlier.

Up until now I haven’t had any false alarms, any promising signs or any encouraging twinges, so I am fully expecting that this will go all the way to induction. But I am ok with that – I was technically induced with Isla (although things were starting off on their own that day anyway) and that experience was positive, so I know that being induced doesn’t have to mean something awful. It also has the major positive of being able to drop the girls off with their Nanna in a nice, planned and calm way, and no midnight dashes to the hospital.

Of course, there is still a chance the baby might put in an appearance on her own before then, but she only has two days in which to do so!

This week we have beeen a little bit up the wall as Isla came down with a really nasty stomach bug on Sunday morning. The girls had been having a practice sleepover at Nanna’s and in the morning when we came to collect her, she had been sick twice. More sick followed throughout the day, and then full blown diarrhea in the afternoon… disaster! We have been washing hands every five minutes and cleaning everything trying to prevent anybody else catching it, and are now desperately hoping we have done enough to avoid it ourselves. Isla has been much better since this morning (last sick being last night) and is now back to her cheeky toddler ways. So far neither me, Tony or Lilly has any symptoms, and we are just hoping it stays that way. I have been trying not to think about suffering norovirus and going into labour, nor too much about what would happen if hubby was ill when I went into labour and he couldn’t be with me. We have now decided to think positive and assume all will be ok… it is time to tell this baby to come out!

In terms of what movement I can feel – this baby is still exceptionally active and moves around a LOT, especially in the evening and at night. She has lots of hiccups too! I have plenty of achey feelings in the right area, but nothing that feels like a contraction, the way they gradually build and fade. These are much more like constant general aches, more like having overdone it than anything else.

Going to the hospital today and having time to think about what is going to happen – and that it is going to happen SOON – has made us both feel really excited about this new arrival and keen to get on with it asap! We will have a baby by the end of the weekend!

I will get off the computer and go and make another raspberry leaf tea, I think…

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36 weeks pregnant and thinking about D-Day

Well, here we are at eight months pregnant! D-Day is getting very close!

Last week I went for an appointment at the hospital and later in the week the midwife. Baby is head down and all the measurements, blood pressure, baby’s heartrate etc are normal. The hospital have asked me to come back at 8 days overdue and have said that I will be induced at 12 days overdue if nothing happens naturally.

By my calculations, that takes us to Saturday the 25th Feb, and I’m not sure if they would do inductions at the weekend – so am slightly scared they might make me wait until 14 days over… I will remind you at this point that Lilly was 11 days over (spontaneous labour, but delivered by emergency c-section) and Isla was 12 days over (induced at 11 days over). I kind of had 10 days in mind for this time, which is the 23rd.

On the one hand, being given 12 days before induction means I am more likely to go into labour on my own, which is what I ideally want to happen. But I also remember only too well the feeling of being so overdue and so fed up waiting for something to happen and I think i’ll go insane if left 14 days!! By the time I went in for induction with Isla I was so fed up and just delighted that the end was in sight. And, to be fair, my experience of induction wasn’t a particularly bad one. However, it would be nice if maybe I could experience labour without being hooked up to the evil syntocinon drip! (and I have stepped up the raspberry leaf tea to three cups a day in an effort to assist this!)

Because of my previous c-section this birth is still classified as a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarian), even though I have had a normal delivery since then. According to the hospital, the success rate in my circumstances is 90%. Last time I felt like I had to fight for the birth I wanted, and I was very much against the idea of continuous monitoring because I wanted to be active to maximise the chances of achieving a normal delivery. When it came to the crunch though, I was so knackered that I was happy to be hooked up to the monitor and sat down on the bed, I was way too tired to have been bouncing on any balls!

This time I will have continuous monitoring again. I am not going to worry about it. If I am in the mood to argue the case and I want to move around the room, I’ll just do it at the time. But I understand why they want to do the monitoring and I am ok with that.

I think I have a realistic approach to my third birth. I hope, and partly expect, that I will be able to have another normal delivery. But I also know that c-sections can be needed for a variety of reasons, and I won’t beat myself up worrying about it if the doctors tell me to have one. Now I just need to look up the coping mechanisms people suggested to me last time to help me through those contractions…

In terms of how I’m feeling, not too bad. The tiredness is definitely back, and getting a bit more every day, it seems. I do sleep ok, but because it is so difficult to get comfy with my huge belly, I tend to stay in one position all night. By the time I wake up I feel really stiff. On the bright side, the heartburn has eased off a bit – it has been a few days since I took Gaviscon! The baby’s movements are still very frequent and strong, sometimes it feels like she is trying to stretch my tummy to make more room for herself – this can feel like rather a sudden sharp pain which has me wincing. My pelvis feels really loose and delicate, I have to be really slow & steady with my movements now. I know this is all part of my body preparing itself for the big day, which I am glad for, but I can’t wait until things feel a bit more sturdy down there!

The pre-baby buying and sorting has commenced too. I did my GBS test, which came back yesterday (negative), I’ve bought some nappies, ordered bottles & a steriliser. Work are kindly getting me a Moses basket, we just need a stand, and I have to sort through all the blankets & first size clothes to make sure we have enough (although I couldn’t resist a small spending spree today on some super-cute new ones). I’ve also made a start on the hospital bag but need to finish this and still need to do an overnight one for the girls.

I am still working – I’ve never worked past 35 weeks before. Now I know why! I am feeling really tired and my heart isn’t really in it, to be honest. I finish next Wednesday and I’m counting the days.

And, to finish on a nice note – the baby book I ordered arrived today. It is part of the same series of books I got for both Lilly and Isla – they all have slightly different versions of the same book (My Baby Journal, if you’re interested). So I have just had a happy ten minutes filing all the scan photos into it and filling out the sections I can, like the due date, first kicks, first time hearing her heartbeat etc. It has also reminded me of the need to look over Lilly’s and Isla’s books to see if there are any sections I still need to fill in for them. Such a lovely job!

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Isla’s birth story

Well – here it is. Isla’s birth story. Get comfy, it’s quite long…  

Isla was due on Thursday, June 17. But, as we suspected, that date came and went with no appearance from our second baby. She was obviously planning to follow in the footsteps of her sister, Lilly, who was 11 days overdue when she was born two and a half years earlier.

A week after the due date, I had an appointment with the consultant, at the Antenatal Day Clinic in Warrington Hospital. The consultant performed a “sweep” in the hope of getting things going and said I was 1-2cm dilated, and that my waters were accessible if they had to break them in case of induction. My blood pressure seemed high – in the 90s where it had been consistently at 70/75 for the last few months of my pregnancy, but my consultant said she wasn’t worried. They also found traces of glucose in my urine, which they sent off for testing. We were sent home with a date for induction if nothing happened naturally – Monday June 28, at 8am.

Tony and I both felt sure that it wouldn’t come to that – I had been having on and off contractions every evening for the past two nights. They hadn’t been particularly strong, and not very close together, but there was definitely something going on, and we were both hopeful that the sweep would kick-start the whole thing.

That night, we expectantly waited for something to happen. Nothing did. Not even the irregular mild pains of the last few evenings. Very disappointing.

The following evening (Friday), those pains were back, but yet again, as soon as I went to bed they disappeared.

On Saturday I had a show and once again became hopeful that something would happen. But Saturday (9 days over) felt a bit like The Last Chance Saloon – if nothing happened that evening, it looked very unlikely that I would go into labour by myself and would have to be induced – something I didn’t really want.

The plan was to begin by breaking my waters. Not something I was looking forward to, as with Lilly’s birth having the waters broken had been a distressing experience – I wasn’t told it was going to happen and as I was under the influence of gas and air at the time I was confused, upset and scared by it. Not how I wanted to start my second labour.

Besides, this time I was determined to get a natural birth after my first ended in an emergency c-section under general anaesthetic when Lilly became distressed, I failed to progress past 4cm and the epidural wouldn’t top up for the operation. I had read a lot about how to maximise my chances of getting a VBAC – Vaginal Birth After Caesarean – and it mainly boiled down to staying upright and active during the birth, not having my waters broken too early, and no epidural until at least 5cm dilated (if at all – I was worried that if it came to a section again the same might happen with the epidural – I wanted to opt for a spinal block instead in that case),

However, by 11 days overdue I was fed up. I felt huge, uncomfortable, and everything was a huge physical effort. I had no energy to play with Lilly and wanted to feel normal again. I wanted the baby out – so I was in no mood to argue against being induced, even though I worried that being induced would mean another c-section might be inevitable.

On the Sunday, Tony and I were resigned to the idea of the induction, and started to feel excited and nervous knowing that we would soon be meeting our new daughter, and starting a new chapter in our lives as a family of four. And the induction did have one big advantage – we were able to explain to Lilly that we were going into the hospital tomorrow to get the baby and that she would be staying with Nanna while we went. We got all her stuff organised and there was no rush or panic, and, for Lilly, no waking up in the night to find we had gone.

On Monday morning, we arrived at Warrington at 8am as arranged, and were shown to a ward with only one other couple on it, having also come in for induction. Blood pressure, urine samples etc were checked by a lovely trainee midwife, and, as before, my blood pressure was still high – in the 90s. The midwife decided to take my BP every 10 minutes for a while to see if it would come down – which it slowly did, to the mid 80s, and they were satisfied with that. Once again there was glucose in my urine and more was sent off to be tested. I asked the student midwife what it might mean as all my other urine samples had been fine throughout the pregnancy. She said it was possible to develop gestational diabetes right at the end of pregnancy, but I wasn’t worried because I knew I was going to have the baby that day or the next anyway.

After that I was put on the foetal heart rate monitor for half an hour. At this point, I was aware of some of those mild contractions / tightenings that I had been feeling over the last week, and the midwife asked me to press a button whenever I felt one, which would help them interpret the trace.

With Lilly’s birth, the first indication we had of her distress was when we first came into hospital and the monitor showed that with every contraction, her heart rate was dipping, then recovering afterwards. This got more and more pronounced the longer the labour went on until the emergency c-section was needed. So our biggest concern for this labour was that the same thing would happen again. Tony and I had agreed that, if the heart rate trace was showing the same situation was likely to repeat itself, that we would not allow things to get worse and worse before the inevitable emergency section – we would ask to have that decision taken earlier before the distress became potentially serious, and we had agreed as much with our consultant.

So, left alone with the foetal monitor doing its thing, we couldn’t resist the temptation to look at those spiky lines and try and interpret it in our own very ill-informed way. And it seemed to Tony that that same dip was occurring in this baby’s heart rate when I had a mild contraction. It wasn’t a good sign, and we started to wonder if this was all heading the same way as last time.

The midwife in charge of the ward came in to tell us that Delivery was very busy this morning, and we weren’t likely to be called up in the next hour or two. So we took the opportunity to walk down to the café and have a cuppa and a cake, buy a newspaper and a few lunch items for Tony.

Back on the ward, there was no news from Delivery. We had a view from our bed out of the window onto the ambulance bay for the maternity unit, and we watched about three ambulances turning up with lights flashing. Queue jumpers!

By early evening we were a little bored, and it was all a bit of an anti climax. The midwife was apologetic and said that if they hadn’t called us by 10pm then they would be unlikely to do the induction until tomorrow morning. We were really disappointed, and getting quite tired, because we’d been up since 6am.

At about 9.30pm I was put back on a foetal heart monitor. The mild tightenings I’d been feeling all day were a little more pronounced. And yet again, the monitor showed that with each one, the baby’s heart rate was dipping – ever so slightly, but still dipping. On top of this, my blood pressure kept rising to the mid nineties again. We explained our concerns to the midwife and she said she would ask a doctor to come down and have a look at the trace. At this point I decided to get into my pyjamas for the night, and Tony decided to stay until the doctor came. At some point I asked for some pain relief as they were quite uncomfortable, I was given some co codamol, which did seem to take the edge off.

We waited quite a while for the doctor, because Delivery was still very busy. By this time, the contractions / tightenings were getting even more pronounced. If I’d been at home experiencing the same, I’d have known I was in labour.

Finally, somewhere between 11pm and midnight, the doctor – Sammy – arrived. He had a look at the trace and agreed that there was a dip in baby’s heart rate and said there was a possibility that breaking the waters would help, by relieving the pressure. He said he would let us know when there was a room free upstairs and I asked him how long that might be – I wanted to know if Tony should go home (he had already technically outstayed his welcome as partners were supposed to leave after 10pm). He said he would go and plead my case and reappeared 10 minutes later telling us there was a room and we could go up now… Yay!

We went upstairs and got settled. A nurse came in to put in a canula in my hand just in case it was needed. She made a complete hash job of it – two painful attempts and couldn’t get a vain – in the end the doctor had to do it, and even he took two attempts!)

The midwife asked me if I wanted to use gas and air when they broke my waters. I wasn’t really keen as last time the gas and air had made the procedure more traumatic, as it had must made me feel sick and confused. I told the midwife I’d have a little “test run” on the gas and air, which I did, but decided to manage without it for now.

The midwife did an examination – I was 1-2cm – but couldn’t break my waters as she said her fingers weren’t long enough and the cervix was still a little high. This news didn’t make me feel very positive as it felt like proper labour was still a while away.

The doctor came back and broke my waters. It wasn’t exactly pleasant but it was nowhere near as upsetting as last time. In fact, he had real difficulty in doing it – he said the waters were very tight around the baby’s head and when he finally managed to do it there was no gushing of water – in fact at first he couldn’t be sure if it had worked! (When Isla was born she had two huge scratch marks on her head from this procedure poor thing!)

Then the doctor told the midwife to hook my up to the dreaded Syntocinon drip to get things going. Yikes!

The drip was started on a low setting and gradually turned up. At first it wasn’t too bad although the contractions were definitely more pronounced by now – I’d say they had reached the stage where pain wise I would have been wanting to come into hospital if I had gone into labour at home. I didn’t bother with the gas & air and managed for two hours with nothing other than the co codamol from earlier.

I started to feel a bit nauseous. I didn’t want gas and air or anything else for that matter, because I feared it would make me feel worse. After a little while, sure enough, I was sick. But afterwards I felt much better and started to think about more pain relief.  

Hospital policy after your waters breaking is to be examined every two hours and no more often. So, two hours later, I was examined. 3cm. I was a bit disappointed as I had hoped the pain would have helped me progress more than 1cm.

I decided to try some diamorphine after the midwife told me it was available.

The midwife gave me the diamorphine as an injection in my leg. It made me feel really sleepy and (at first) significantly took the edge off the pain. In fact, it made me pretty sleepy and I lay back on the bed and dozed on and off for an hour or so. It felt lovely…

During this time, the midwives kept coming in and out, checking the monitor for a while, then leaving. We asked the midwife to help us interpret the trace on the foetal heart rate monitor, and she reassured us that the baby’s heart rate was no longer dipping with the contractions, and that all was as it should be. Such a relief! Maybe this time would be different after all… The midwife was also turning up the syntocinon drip every half an hour to keep the contractions coming and to increase their intensity. We were left alone with the relaxing sound of the baby’s heart rate only interrupted by the occasional inflating of the blood pressure monitor. My blood pressure remained pretty high – mid nineties again. At some point – I can’t quite remember when – I was given a tablet to try to bring down the rate when it got to 100. But when they checked it again it had only gone down to 99!

After a little while though, the pain began to get stronger and stronger, and I knew that the diamorphine alone was not going to be enough to see me through. I endured half an hour or so of pretty agonising intense contractions as it was nearly examination time. I hoped I had reached five cms… which would have been a huge psychological boost as I never got past 4 last time. But when I was examined, disaster. Only 4cm. I’d only progressed 1cm in the last two hours, despite some significant pain. I was really disheartened and worried that maybe this was it; I’d be stuck at 4cm again.

It was at this point I asked for an epidural. And the midwife said she would go and sort this out with the anaesthetist, as a new one was just due to come on shift. However, it took almost two hours to get him to come to me. During this time the drip was getting turned up every half an hour and the contractions became unbearably strong. I was gripping Tony’s hand during each one and breathing but soon the pain just became too much. I started begging the midwives to turn the drip down PLEEEEASSE… and even sent Tony out into the corridor to beg them to do this for me, or to give me my epidural NOW!

Incidentally, the diamorphine was still working, even though it was not strong enough to dull the pain – I was really woozy and kept falling asleep and snoring (loudly) in between every contraction!

Eventually the anaesthetist came in – halleluiah! But wait, it was the same guy from last time – the one who had given me my ill fated epidural that gave me the shakes, made me sick, wore off, wouldn’t be topped up and ultimately lead to my c-section having to be carried out under general anaesthetic. Oh god, no!

I was still really woozy and out of it on the diamorphine. I wanted to ask the anaesthetist to NOT MESS IT UP AGAIN PLEASE, but wanted to ask him in the politest possible way, bearing in mind he was about to approach me again with a needle and I didn’t want to upset him. However, speaking coherently when you’re out of it on diamorphine isn’t easy so I ended up slurring something at him about “last time it didn’t work… please, I don’t want another general anaesthetic!”

Luckily, Mr Anaesthetist was in a much better mood than the same time two and a half years ago – I suspect he may actually have had a personality transplant in that time. He seemed jollier and actually cracked a joke… very much not like the last time we met!

Like last time, I kept totally still while he put the epidural in. Like last time, he seemed to carry on through a contraction, but I did not move a muscle! As soon as it was in, there was instant relief! That awful pain was gone… and, replacing it was a different sensation – a need to push?!

It was time to be examined again anyway. When the midwife announced I was 9cm dilated with just a tiny bit of lip left, I thought she was joking. I had gone from 4cm to 9cm in two hours – whooooooooo hooooooooo!!!! I was over the moon! But the midwife said I wasn’t “allowed” to push for another two hours, as they weren’t “allowed” to examine me again until then.

Well, for an hour, I tried not to push. Bloody hell, that was hard! The urge was so strong and I had to breathe through it when it came trying not to give in. It was amazing as I felt no pain from the contractions, just this sensation – Mr Anaesthetist had done an amazing job this time!

After an hour, the midwife took pity on me and said: “If you want to push, push.” So I did. She put my feet in stirrup type things to give me a bit more leverage and when I had the urge, I pushed with all my might. Tony was fabulous and kept reminding me to put my chin down, which I kept forgetting to do but which made the whole thing so much more successful.

After 45 minutes the midwife said those magic words: “With the next contraction, the baby’s head will be out”. “Nah,” I thought “There’s no way!” But I pushed as hard as I could and next thing I felt a scrabbling of tiny limbs as Isla shot out completely, arms and legs flying!

She was cleaned up a little and cried for a short while, a lovely, quiet, newborn baby cry. I was just in shock! I had given birth!! I didn’t even need forceps or anything! I had done it by myself!! It just didn’t feel real.

Next thing I had to do some gentle pushes to get out the placenta. I had a little cuddle with Isla – a gorgeous little thing with so much black hair, and weighing in at 8lbs exactly. The midwives were discussing the state of my down-belows… they couldn’t decide if I had a 2^nd or 3^rd degree tear (it was only a 2^nd in the end) and decided I needed to be stitched up in theatre. So, off I went.

That ride on the trolley down the corridor to theatre brought back some memories! This time was different though as it wasn’t for an emergency c-section. I arrived in theatre and there was a very happy and jolly atmosphere – I’m sure some of those doctors were the same ones from two and half years earlier who delivered Lilly – but maybe that was just my romantic vision of the situation. My diamorphine was still doing its thing and I was STILL falling asleep and snoring!! However, when it came to the actual stitches the epidural did not mask the pain and I had a local anaesthetic injection. I mainly snored through the whole procedure. A doctor woke me up to ask me if he could put in a pessary. “What for?” I asked. “It gives you pain relief for 48 hours” was the reply. “Well, yes, of COURSE you can then!”

Afterwards I was wheeled back into the delivery room. There was Tony standing holding our new little baby. And that’s when it really hit me – so much love for our little girl, so much emotion and just so much happiness. I could not get hold of her fast enough and was sobbing looking at her perfect little face. I gave her her first feed and pretty soon afterwards we were whisked down to the ward – rooms up in delivery were still very much in demand!

So, that was it. I managed my VBAC, despite being induced and despite being put on that evil drip! Also despite not having the “active birth” I had been fighting for – when it came to the crunch I was so tired I never even considered getting out of my bed!!

Isla is completely gorgeous; I am so totally in love with my second little girl, just as I was with my first. I am so lucky.

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Time’s up!

Well, I am now 10 days overdue and tomorrow time is up: I am going to be induced.

As I already said, I started having some contractions during the evening on Tuesday – which was 40+5, which amounted to nothing. I had the same the day afterwards, and again they died off when I went to bed.

Then on Thursday, at 7 days over, I went to see the consultant and had a sweep. (Ouch). She said I was 1cm dilated, cervix is 1cm thick but soft. When I first had it taken, my blood pressure was a little high – 140/95 compared with 110/75 at my last midwife appointment. But they took it a few times and it came down to 130something/82, so they said that was ok. They kept suggesting I was feeling “stressed” because of being in hospital – I wasn’t – in fact, I was quite enjoying it in the fancy antenatal day unit with the ultra comfy pregnant lady chairs!

Anyway, the day of the sweep both T and I really thought that would be it. I’d had two nights of contractions and hopefully the sweep would just push things a little bit over the edge. No such luck. That night I had the occasional twinge, and felt pretty uncomfortable after the rummaging around down there, but I had nothing that could be described as contractions. Soul destroying!

The next night though, the false contractions were back – and the night after that too. But everytime I went to bed, they stopped.

Yesterday (9 days over) I had a show and got my hopes up again. But despite a few pathetically mild contractions it was pretty obvious I wasn’t about to go into labour anytime soon. It felt like the Last Chance Saloon for me, and I was pretty depressed about it. When I woke up this morning with no pains, I resigned myself to the idea of being induced and have just been focusing on that all day today.

I’ve been a bit emotional, thinking about Lilly and how her life is just about to change and she can’t really comprehend how. I had a conversation with her this morning about how tomorrow mummy and daddy are going to the hospital to get the new baby sister, and she is going to stay with her Nanna. I was telling her about when she was born in the hospital, and she said “I’m your baby, aren’t I mummy?”

It still feels so strange that we are going to have two children soon – and a newborn baby to look after alongside a toddler! Are we crazy!!! How are we going to manage?!?!

And because of the induction – which is going to involve having my waters broken to start things off – I know that there is an even greater likelihood that this might end in an emergency c-section again. But hopefully if things look like they are headed that way (e.g. if heartrate is dipping and I’m not making good progress) that decision will be made earlier, meaning that at the very least, I will be able to be awake and T can be present when the procedure is done (last time was under general anaesthetic).

I really want my VBAC but my baby is the most important thing. I can’t go on being pregnant, I feel physically exhausted and uncomfortable all the time. If I get my natural birth – amazing!! I’ll be over the moon! But this time, having gained a better understanding of why what happened last time happened, I hope I’ll be much better able to understand and come to terms with the delivery, however it happens.

Wish me luck!

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39 weeks – the novelty is beginning to wear off

Well, I am now 39+3 and, if I’m honest, being heavily pregnant is starting to become a bit of a chore.

I feel SO huge and slow and heavy, and it is hard work dragging myself around and doing things. I’ve not got much energy, I feel really tired and today I’ve been feeling particularly hormonal, fed up and sorry for myself!

We had a little walk this morning and it makes me wonder (for the millionth time in the last few months) how I did all those long walks we went on while pregnant and even overdue with Lilly… Now when I walk for more than five minutes my bump feels hard and heavy and I feel desperate for a wee even though I only went just before we left the house! I definitely have the pregnant waddle down to a T!

I can feel a constant downwards pressure which I assume is the baby’s head – nothing to be excited about as it’ s been there for a few good weeks already. I get period like pains every so often but nothing regular or particularly strong, although everytime I notice one I look at the clock and hope that perhaps they’ll start coming every 10 minutes like at the very beginning of labour with Lilly.

I have been feeling positive that this baby won’t be as overdue as her sister – maybe 5 days late, something like that. I had the 21st in my head as a possible date – that’s next monday. (My actual due date being Thursday this week – the 17th). But as we get nearer to the due date the possibility that I’m still in this for the long haul is dawning on me a bit – hospital say I can go 10 days over, which would take me to Sunday 27th.

Tony will be in work next week but then has made arrangements with leave and paternity leave to be off for three weeks starting 21st June – I really wish he was off next week as it is getting so tiring! (Note to future self when thinking of baby no.3 – tell Tony to book some of that parental leave he’s allowed around the time of the due date!)

Anyway, I don’t like to moan, I’m always grateful to be pregnant and that baby is cooking away nicely. But I must say I am ready for this to come to an end, sometime soon please!

Right, best get putting the kettle on for ANOTHER raspberry leaf tea…

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One week to go til “Extra Time”

Well, as the World Cup started today it would be appropriate to say we are now 39 weeks pregnant, approaching the end and considering the possibility of extra time added on!

I am due next Thursday, but no signs yet that this baby wants to make a timely / slightly early appearance.

I had my appointment with the consultant this week, nothing much new to report apart from she seemed friendly enough and quite positive about the idea of a VBAC. In fact, at one point, I felt like she was almost trying to sell me on the idea – I’m one step ahead of you there, Mrs Consultant!!

My next appointment isn’t until 7 days overdue – so very much hoping I don’t get that far. But if I do, consultant says they’ll only want me to go 10 days over before trying to induce me. More details on what that will involve will be discussed at the next appointment, if baby hasn’t come naturally by then. I’m not totally against the idea of induction, as I think by 10 days over I’ll be well and truly ready to meet this baby. I just hope that baby can do the business and make her own way to the exit before then.

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Had my first consultant appointment today

It went quite well. A lot better than it did in my dream last night, in which I went for my appointment, ended up running away from the consultant in tears and begging for a midwife lead delivery!

The doctor I saw (didn’t catch his name, think he is a registrar) seemed really nice. I hope he’s there on the day, he seemed quite jovial and reasonable.

He started off by saying he had reviewed my notes, and said there was no reason why I couldn’t go for a VBAC this time. He said he thought it sounded like with Lilly’s birth, she maybe had her head turned slightly to one side, so was not pressing as hard as she could have been on my cervix, which explains the failure to progress more quickly. He said there was no reason why this should happen a second time. I must admit, this is the first time i’ve heard this explanation, so i’ve no idea how he’s come to it, or whether its right, but I suppose it explains things. Perhaps this would also have given the impression of a distressed baby? I’m not sure, i’ll have to research that one…

I asked about fetal monitoring – this is really my main concern, as I think it was at the heart of lots of the things which went wrong last time. I asked whether I could have intermittent monitoring to allow me to be more mobile during labour. He said that, because of the risk of uterine scar rupture I will have to have continuous monitoring. However, he said that the hopsital are hoping to get wireless monitors, possibly by June, which would just stick onto my tummy and allow me to move around and stay active… that would be brilliant! I told him I really, really don’t want a monitor on the baby’s head unless it’s neccessary – last time the registrar tried FOUR times to put a monitor on her head, only to discover each time that the probe thingie didn’t work…. grrrrrrrrrrr. He was noncommittal about this, but i’d like to see them come near me on the day with that suggestion! Anyway, he then conceeded that perhaps I could be allowed to get to 5-6cm with intermittent monitoring before being hooked up (although hopefully wirelessly) for continuous monitoring in the later stages. That seems like a fair compromise, I’m going to hang on to that one for future reference I think!

I also asked about induction. Lilly was 10 days overdue and we seem to have history of overdue babies in our family, so it’s something I’m bracing myself for again. He said they would prefer me to go into labour naturally (me too!) and said they’d let me go “15 to 20 days” overdue… I was a bit shocked to hear that, as I thought they’d say 14 days then book in for an elective section. I can’t really believe that’s right, but anyway, it was good that there was no talk of elective sections at this stage.

He then tried to listen to the baby’s heartbeat – made a bit of a pig’s ear of it and couldn’t find it for ages. I wasn’t worried though, as I could feel the baby moving, and i’ve felt lots of movements over the past few days so I know he or she is in there, alive and kicking! He said he’d do an ultrasound instead – brilliant news, chance to see bubba again - but they had to send for it from the labour ward, and in the time it took to get it, he had found the heartbeat anyway. But never mind, the heartbeat sounded nice and strong, and he said all was fine.

The final thing I said to him is that I didn’t want lots of interventions this time, as last time they had been painful and contributed to an overall pretty horrible experience. He said: “We want to give you a much nicer time this time”, which has given me a bit of reassurance – just hope he’s right.

So, all went quite well. At least, until I got in the car to drive home and the stupid thing died on me in the middle lane of a busy three-lane carriageway. No hazard lights, no nothing. Got out and called the police, roadside assitance, father in law etc etc to rescue me, then tried really hard not to cry (not easy with all these hormones). It was amazing to see the amount of people (all men) who felt the need to shout obscenities at me from the comfort of their cars. Helpful comments including: “Put your hazards on, stupid b***” (yes, if I could do that, don’t you think I would?!) and, brilliantly “You’re a s*** driver” – I’m not actually trying to drive at the moment, mate, i’m standing on the side of the road freezing to death! And, for the record, I did not break down on purpose!!

Anyway, a nice policeman came and rescued me (as soon as he arrived i burst into tears!) and rolled the car out of the road. Then, a little while later father in law came and rescued me, got the car going again and we drove home.

But oh! How it restores your faith in human kind……. season of goodwill anyone?!?!?

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