Well, here we are – seven weeks.
Last time I got to this stage I felt like it was a really significant milestone – seven weeks pregnant – it felt like loads!
This time it doesn’t feel like that – I still feel like it’s really early days. 12 weeks seems miles away. I think this time I feel a lot more anxious about things, I feel more worried about the things which can go wrong – don’t know why that is but I do. I think maybe I have the pregnancy books that bit earlier and looking at the pictures in The Pregnancy Bible (which I think is a great book, by the way) contributes a bit – the baby at this stage is just so tiny and only just starting to look recognisable as a human being – it’s less than an inch long!
Last time I was pregnant I never for one minute doubted that I would have a baby, from the second I saw the line on the pregnancy test. The whole pregnancy was just excitement and anticipation and impatience. This time, even though I now know what its like to have a successful pregnancy and what it is to have a baby and look after one, it all feels even more unreal and like somehow it won’t really happen. I can’t actually believe or imagine me this time next year, with a toddler of nearly three and a baby of four months. It seems like a mad dream, totally hypothetical!
And yet, hopefully, that is exactly what is going to happen!!
T and I have talked about going for an early scan, which I think might be able to kick-start my excitement and unswerving belief that we really are doing all this again. The place where we had our 3d scan with Lilly, Take A Peek in St Helens, does a reassurance scan for £65. So we may go before or after our trip to Center Parcs, which is in a week and a half. Or, we may be brave and hold out until 12 weeks.
Symptoms wise I’ve been feeling similar to how I felt at this stage with Lilly. All morning I feel slightly queasy and need to constantly eat to keep that feeling at bay. The problem is, I’m fussy with what I can and can’t face the thought of eating. And when I do eat, I feel so full!
Today for lunch I had some pea and ham soup and a bread roll. I couldn’t eat it all because I started to feel like I’d eaten six Christmas dinners. I’ve felt hugely bloated all day – like my tummy is ready to pop!!
I think my rate of tummy expansion has slowed down a little – thank goodness - so maybe I will make it to 12 weeks without it being massively obvious to everyone!
Oh, and I had my first pregnancy related dream last night. I dreamt I was 10 days overdue and I’d only just realised! And I was really annoyed because I hadn’t started on the raspberry leaf tea yet!