35+1 – Last day at work

Well, I finished work today to start my maternity leave!

I’ve had a really lovely day, with lots of kind things said and lots of lovely presents, not only for me and the baby but also some presents for Lilly too!

It feels really great to finish. Work itself hasn’t really been so bad, it’s the getting up in the morning and getting ready, driving to and from work and then coming in after a full day, exhausted and having to look after Lilly for a few hours before bed. I must also say that I am feeling VERY “pregnant”. I can remember last time feeling like everything was loosening up and I was starting to feel a bit like my hips and everything were slightly wibbly. I think that was only in the last few weeks, but i’ve already been feeling like that for a couple of weeks this time. I’m also getting lots of Braxton Hicks contractions, but nothing that resembles “real” contractions. I feel much bigger and more cumbersome than I ever remember feeling with Lilly – I really feel like I’m dragging myself around a bit!

I’ve done some bouncing on my ball, and now I’m just hoping baby has turned and is no longer breech. If she has, I’m not aware of it, and I don’t know how I would tell. I couldn’t get to sleep straight away last night, and baby was moving lots, and I was trying to feel whether I could make out a hand or a head at the bottom of the bump… it was inconclusive! I really hope she has moved!

I have an appointment with the supervisor of midwives now – on Tuesday. I’ve written up my new VBAC birth plan (as I want it to be) and I’m going to take that along. Continous monitoring and mobility being the main issues. So I’ll see what we can agree on.

As far as Lilly goes, we have come to a sad conclusion this week: it is the end of the nap. Her sleeping has been up the wall for a few months now, and only in the last week have we enjoyed a few nights of continous sleeping. And only when she hadn’t had a daytime nap. Yesterday, she had an hour’s nap in nursery and hardly slept a wink last night. That sealed the deal! No sleep today, so lets see how well we do tonight… fingers crossed.

It’s a shame becuase I was really hoping she’d still be napping while I was on mat leave. But it wasn’t to be. RIP daytime naps, you will be missed!

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34 weeks pregnant

Well, 34 weeks pregnant today and only a week until I finish work.

I had my midwife appointment today and all was fine – baby is still breech though so I need to get bouncing on my birthing ball, or, as midwife suggests: “going on all fours with your bum in the air”!! I go back at 36 weeks, and if little Madame is still breech I’ll be referred for a scan at Warrington. Hopefully she can “turn it around” before then, anyway.

I’m also thinking about starting on the raspberry leaf tea. Last time I didn’t start drinking it until about a week overdue – then I decided to guzzle it by the gallon load. Don’t know if it helped or not, but labour did start two days later. I’ve read a study which says that if you have one cup a day from 32 weeks it makes the second stage of labour shorter, which can surely be no bad thing. I wasn’t brave enough to try it as early as that, but now I’m 34 weeks I think I might give it a go.

I’ve also made the call to the hospital about seeing a Supervisor of Midwives re my VBAC plans. I spoke to somebody on the labour ward just now, and get the impression that, unless I’m a bit pushy, I might get fobbed off a bit. Being pushy isn’t really in my nature so I need to pull it out of myself a bit, I think.

In order to arm myself with everything I want to know, everything I want so say and what I want them to help me with, I’ve just been looking over my VBAC research, my draft birth plan and also re-reading Lilly’s birth story to work out what it is I do and don’t want this time.

(In a nutshell – last time there was an awful lot of intervention – waters broken without warning, blood taken from baby’s head, numerous attempts to put monitors on baby’s head, continuous monitoring and not much mobility because of suspected fetal distress, failure to progress, need to have c-section, failed epidural, general anaesthetic. Phew)

So, in order to get my head straight for when and if I finally get to talk to somebody who will help me agree a birth plan that I’m comfortable with, one which might actually lead me to have as good a chance as any to achieve a VBAC, here are the outpourings of my mind…

Things I did not like about last time:

•  Continous monitoring meaning I wasn’t very mobile, leading to failure to progress (which is what they are helpfully proposing for this time too)
• Waters being broken early, and with no warning that they were going to be broken (scary, unpleasant, no need)
• Gas & air not helping – perhaps I wasn’t doing it right? (Please god let it help this time!)
• Monitor being put on baby’s head – three failed attempts!! (painful, awful)
• All the checks for fetal distress (water’s clear, blood test from baby) came back clear, yet fetal distress was still assumed from the off. Why?
• Having an epidural put in – didn’t like the big needle – grumpy anaesthetist didn’t help – and he carried on even though I was having a contraction – which made me cry – and might have been one of the reasons why the epidural eventually failed
• Side effects of epidural – shivering, being sick. Will this happen again? What is the alternative, pain relief wise? Pethedine?
• Epidural not being able to be topped up when it came to c-section – leading to general anaesthetic instead. What are the alternatives? Spinal block?
• Being told that, once bloods have been taken from the baby’s head to check for distress, this has to be done every half an hour? (felt like a threat to make me agree to a section)

As a result of all the above, my birth plan so far reads as follows:

Birth plan for Baby No.2

•  My last labour resulted in an emergency caesarean under general anaesthetic – something I am very keen to avoid this time.

 

•  I want to be kept informed of what is happening at every stage, and why it is happening

 

• I understand that labour is unpredictable but I would like as little intervention as possible in order to allow my labour to progress naturally. My aim is to achieve a VBAC and to avoid an emergency caesarean.

 

• If possible, I would like to wait until at least 7cm dilated before my waters are broken. If it is thought necessary for my waters to be broken, I want to be told about this IN ADVANCE and be told the reasons for it.

 

• I am open minded about having an epidural, if possible I want to wait until after 5cms dilation so as not to increase the risk of an emergency c-section

 

• I understand that fetal monitoring will need to be carried out, but I wish to remain as mobile as possible throughout labour, so would like this monitoring to be done intermittently, not continuously. I would like to avoid having a monitor attached to the baby’s head unless this is deemed a necessity for medial reasons.

 

I feel a bit like this birth plan is all negatives – basically DON’T ANYBODY TOUCH ME!!! LEAVE ME ALONE AND I’LL HAVE THIS BABY IF YOU DON’T MIND!!! But that’s the way I feel, a little bit.

My last birth plan reads like a fantasists list to Santa. The only things on there that happened was my request for Lilly to be given vitamin K by mouth (which was hospital policy anyway) and for Tony to be given the baby in the event of my needing a section under general anaesthetic. Whoop de Whoop.

Anyway, all this could be scuppered if Little Miss stays breech. And I know Tony is secretly hoping she does, because he thinks a planned section would be easier and less stressful. He does support me but I know he can’t really understand why I want to put myself through childbirth when I don’t really “have” to.

It feels good to write it all down. I just hope I can be as clear about what I want when this Supervisor of Midwives person calls me back. I don’t really want to be fighting these battles on the day I’m in labour.

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37 weeks four days

Well, we are now full term… so things could happen anyday!

However, i’m not holding out too much hope, as i’m still fully expecting baby to stay so comfy she won’t make an appearance until after her due date.

Tony and I are both ready and waiting now (or as ready as we’ll ever be) and trying not to get too impatient as it could be another four weeks yet.

All the girls on my NCT course have had their babies! Including one who was due on the 31st December… which isn’t helping our impatience though!

News to report… GBS result came back negative – hooray! And the TENS machine arrived. We had a little play with it but need to do that properly soon. It basically feels like pins and needles… not sure if it’ll help but it’s certainly worth a try.

Baby is moving quite a lot again. The movements are a lot stronger, you can tell the space is running out in there! Some of the time she is totally still, probably sleeping, then she’ll have a few minutes of wiggling and moving her arms and legs around. At the midwife appointment last week she said the head was “quite far down” but not engaged. We have a consultant appointment on Thursday so we’ll see if she has engaged then.

Ooh and i have written my birth plan (not that anyone medical has looked at it.. but hey!!)

It is as follows:

Birth partner: My husband, Tony

Induction:

I would prefer not to be induced but will consider it on the advice of a midwife or doctor

Labour

I want to be able to walk around and be out of bed if possible

I want to use positions which make the best possible use of gravity and I want to be encouraged to stay upright and out of bed

I would like to be able to drink fluids throughout

Monitoring

I do not wish to have continuous fetal monitoring unless my baby is distressed, as I wish to remain as mobile as possible for as long as possible

Pain management

I plan to manage as long as possible using gas and air and a Tens machine

I wish to have pain medication available but only given to me if I ask for it.

I do not wish to be offered pethidine, because of the effect on the baby, unless I specifically request it. If so, I would initially like to be given a 50mg dose only, with the option to have a top up later if necessary.

If I decide to have an epidural, I would like to be given a low dose if possible, in order to retain some feeling in my legs. If possible I would like the epidural to be allowed to wear off as I reach full dilatation so that I can feel the urge to push

Please note I am allergic to cyclizine

Episiotomy

I would like to avoid an episiotomy if possible, unless, in the midwife’s opinion, the procedure will help avoid a very large tear, or help speed up the birth if the baby is distressed

Caesarean

If I need to have an emergency caesarean I would like my husband present at all times during the operation

I wish to have an epidural or spinal for anaesthesia. I would like to avoid a general anaesthetic if at all possible

If possible, I would like the baby to be placed on me for some skin to skin contact immediately after she has been checked over and cleaned.

If a general anaesthetic was needed, I would like my baby to be handed to my husband after the birth

Post birth

I would like skin to skin contact with my baby immediately after the birth

I would like to wait until the umbilical cord stops pulsing before it is cut. I would like to have a natural third stage, unless the midwife or doctor recommends otherwise (I will be guided by them)

I would like the midwife or doctor to cut the cord

I plan to breastfeed my baby and would like to put her to the breast as soon after birth as possible. I would like to stay in the delivery suite for as long as possible to assist this.

I would like to be discharged from hospital as soon as the midwives and doctors say my baby and I are well enough

I do not wish my baby to be separated from me at any time

I would like my baby to be given Vitamin K by mouth, rather than in the form of an injection

Special care:

I would like my husband and / or I to accompany our baby to special care if allowed

If the baby has to be transferred to another hospital, I would like my husband and I to accompany her if possible

I plan to breastfeed my baby and do not want her to be given formula milk or any other liquid except breast milk (unless absolutely necessary)

It will be interesting to look back and see how much of this actually happens!!

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Eight months pregnant

Well, i am officially 8 months pregnant today, or, in more scientific terms, 35 weeks five days.

I finished work on Friday, so this is my second official day of being off work and I am loving it! Tony is home by late lunchtime because of his shifts, so i am not getting the chance to get too bored or lonely. I celebrated my first day off work with a couple of nice croissants whilst watching breakfast telly in my PJs… heaven!

Today I have put on a wash of baby whites, all the last sheets and blankets etc. I’ve also done my GBS home test, which i just need to post, and i’ve ordered my tens machine online. It will arrive three weeks before the due date, so we can have a practice.

We had our hopsital tour last week which wasn’t the best experience in the world. Didn’t help that the midwife who took us round was a bit odd. She didn’t really show us much or explain anything and the other people on the tour weren’t much help either. (She asked: “Do you all know about the pain relief on offer?” Answer from the group: “Yes.” End of subject. She asked: “Are you planning to have epidurals?” Answer from the group: “No.” End of subject.) Would have been good just to go over things anyway, for the less vocal in the group (i.e. me!). I mean, if these people know all the answers, what are they doing on the tour in the first place???

I was also downheartened to see the birthing pool (the only one in the unit) was basically a glorified bath in the disabled toilets! Although it has a door leading off one of the delivery suites, when it’s not in use by a person giving birth, it also has a door off the corridor and can be used as a toilet. I was in tears afterwards saying to Tony: “I don’t want my baby to be born in the toilet!” I know it’s probably a bit OTT and i’m not even sure what I think about waterbirth yet, but it just seemed so unlike how i would have imagined it… I thought the pool would be in the room where the bed etc was.

Oh yes, and the one piece of info that the midwife did give was that you can’t use the pool if you are “high risk” – which I am, but only because of medical history, not because of any complications with the birth. This really annoyed me as nobody has explained that there are implications like this to being high risk. What else does it mean that nobody has said? Last time i went to the consultant, he said everything was fine and there’s no reason for anything to be different from anyone else, but i’m still being seen as high risk and have to go back and see him again. Well, when i do i am going to ask about the birthing pool and what else there is that i “can’t” have because of being high risk.

Anyway, at least I have seen it now and i have a few weeks to come to terms with it! I definitely do not want to stay in there longer than i have to though. The ward was fine I suppose but it just reminded me of what it’s like to be in hospital and i’m definitely going to put in my birth plan that I want to be discharged as soon as possible.

I still haven’t packed my hospital bag yet, but i might get around to that tomorrow. I have a few things that i want to put in there that are in the wash at the moment. I also need to write my birth plan.

Me wise, I am feeling fine. A little bit slower than usual maybe and still get the occasional heartburn at night (Gaviscon works wonders though!). As the baby books and weekly emails told me, i can feel a few aches in my pelvis, which i’m taking as a good sign that things are happening as they should. And i’ve also noticed over the last few days that the baby is moving less, which i was starting to worry about until my babycentre.com email came through and said to expect that, as the baby now has less room to move. Once i had that reassurance, she seemed to start moving around again anyway… typical!

Right, best go, got a few things to do. Trying to make the most of these last few baby free weeks and make sure I am as organised as I’ll ever be.

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