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Archive for the ‘Work’ Category

Time.

English: Canavan clock, Belfast A Canavan cloc...

If days were twice as long as they are now, I know I could fill that time with things.

At the moment life is just so unbelieveably busy, there is just never enough time for anything.

I have so many things in my mind that I want to find time for at the moment, loads of personal things with or for the family, and lots of creative energy buzzing about my brain for the things I want to do at work, professionally… but my time is just filled with the day-to-day tasks needed to keep us all going!

The trouble is, there are just so many of those day-to-day things. Making bottles, washing bottles, making purees, making dinners, meal planning, shopping, washing, ironing, school and nursery bags to prepare, lunches to make, stuff to do. And that is all around working full time, and hubby working full time, and on shifts.

By the time I’ve done all my jobs I only have time to snatch a little TV time and maybe get a quick glance at twitter before I’m dozing off on the sofa!

I am NOT complaining (really), I know this is a totally manic and crazy phase of our lives with three such little children, one a baby, and by my logic, surely, things will only get easier and less busy as they get bigger.

But I would so love to have some time to while away the hours just doing fun stuff, some of the things I have in my head that I’d like to do – some of it minor stuff like make pretty boards on pinterest, or read a few blogs. I’d love to start a work-related blog and I’d love to post a bit more regularly on here, and keep up with my twitter friends a little better. I’d love to read books. I’d like to learn more about what I do for a living and get better at it. I’d like to spend a few hours putting photos in albums. I need to spend a good few hours putting loads of baby clothes on ebay.

But I know that, for now, life is just a bit too crazy. And I need more hours in the day to fit in any of that stuff. But I’m hopeful that, one day, (soonish), it’ll come.

 

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Well, that time has come – Eve is 16 weeks today and on Monday I will be going back to work.

Yep – I know what you’re thinking – “that’s very early”.

Well, it is – and the simple reason is – after three children and three spells of maternity leave we simply cannot afford for this one to last any longer!

But it’s ok – Eve will be in the capable hands of her doting daddy, who is staying at home with the girls again (for a little while at least – but that’s a whole other story), and I enjoy my job so it’s not all bad. Plus, I’ll be able to drink whole uninterrupted cups of coffee, wander round the shops ON MY OWN in my lunchbreak and even go to the toilet without anybody following me!

I am definitely going to miss my babies, especially Eve as she is still growing and changing so much every day at the moment, and I am really worried about how Tony is going to cope – three pre-schoolers is definitely a job for two people, at least!! But he will manage and I think he will even surprise himself.

We’re both excited about the future, especially Lilly starting at school. We had a very good meeting at the school this week at which we met her teacher and toured around the classroom. We both came away feeling extra confident that she will really love school and that it’ll be really good for her.

We have had so many changes of our day-to-day routine over the last few years, I think we are getting quite good at adapting ourselves! And there is likely to be more change coming over the next few months, hopefully all for the better.

So, goodbye maternity leave. You have been great. I have spent some lovely times with all three of my babies and also plenty of time with my hubby too. But now it’s time to get on with the next chapter…

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As seems to have happened too many times recently, family life in our house has undergone yet another dramatic change – all in the space of the past week!

In fact, it is hard to believe that only just over a week has gone by since Tony found out his job was ending and he was being made redundant.

But, fear not, in those 10 days we have formulated a grand plan which has left us feeling much more positive about our future and about how we will cope, not only with the redundancy bombshell, but also with the terrifying prospect of paying nursery fees for two children under 2 next year!

Basically, with some financial reshuffling and some cost savings made (bye bye my old Fiat Punto, faithful friend of three years, hello one-car family!), we think we have found a way to make it work if hubby becomes “Daddy Daycare” and stays at home with the children for a while, and I return to full time working from my previous four days.

Luckily, my work were very accomodating and changed my contract the same day I put in my request. And nursery were kind and only made us give one week’s notice for the girls. Lilly will still go three afternoons a week, using her 15 hour free entitlement (something all over threes get), but Isla will stay at home with her daddy full time for the time being. (She is already the biggest of daddies girls, so don’t think she will mind this!)

I am now the proud owner of a railpass, and hubby is full of ideas of places to go, things to do. And, after many hours of calculations and worry, we think we can make the sums add up.

And now, as we start to settle into the new routine and come to terms with how things have changed over such a short space of time, I think we are both starting to think that things will be better, not worse.

Now we just wait to see how hubby will cope with his new job… ten times more demanding than anything he’s ever done before!

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… things have been very busy lately!

I’ve been rather neglecting this blog, and i’ve even not had the time to be on twitter as much as usual!

Yep, life is rather getting in the way at the moment :) I’m back completely in the swing of things at work, and on the two afternoons I have off a week I am trying to make sure that the girls and I are doing something nice – Storytime at the library, Messy Monsters, Soft Play, the park, or just some at home painting or cake making.

Tony and I have settled into our routine and it is working ok, despite it being quite exhausing with me trying to get out of the door before 7am and him having the children by himself in the mornings before nursery or before I come home to take over while he goes out to work.

Isla seems to be starting to get used to nursery and even enjoy herself a little bit – the last two days the staff have remarked on how happy and excitable she’s been, which is encouraging.

We have also hit teething hard – Isla has had her bottom middle two teeth for a few weeks now, but at the moment her top middle ones are on their way out. They seem to be bothering her quite a bit, mainly at night. But she is still her usual gorgeous little self, she only cries when things are really bad and when she does she gets extra special treatment!

Lilly is doing well at pre-school, she absolutely loves it and I have real trouble getting her away at the end of the day. Ideally I think it’d be nice for her to do one extra day, but the stumbling block is the expense.

And I have started Weight Watchers – online, that is, I can’t face going to an actual class. I really want to lose some weight this year, expecially thinking of our holiday in France in July but also my sister in law’s wedding next year (she’s asked me to be bridesmaid!) I’ve tried just cutting out things I know are bad for me but I have hardly any willpower and, even when I think i’ve been good, I never lose any weight. So I’ve signed up and I have the iphone app and I have been quite preoccupied with planning meals etc which is another thing eating up what little free time I have!

Ooh, but on a more exciting note Tony and I had our first proper night out since Isla was born! We treated ourselves to a night in a fancy hotel in Liverpool, a nice meal and a great big lie in! It was bliss. It was really wonderful to spend time as a couple and the girls were fine at Nana and Grandad’s. In fact, since then, Lilly has been asking Nana all the time if she can have another “sleep over” (result!) It was just the tonic we needed, especially as we’ve been so tired lately trying to juggle our new arrangements and getting some broken nights with the girls with one thing and another.

So, that’s us really, we’re still here, I just haven’t had as much time to sit at the computer and type lately. I hope that will get better as time goes on because I love writing my blog and chattting to my twitter friends… and I feel bad for neglecting them!

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This week was my first week back at work after maternity leave. It was been a much planned for and anxiously anticipated week.

It was also the week when Isla would start nursery properly, and Tony would take charge of the children in the mornings, having to get them to nursery by himself on two of those days.

It has gone pretty well, all in all.

Work have been very gentle with me and eased me in slowly, but at the same time, I know there is plenty of interesting work ahead to keep me challenged and interested in the coming months, so no complaints there.

Isla has reacted well so far to nursery. I wouldn’t say she has “settled” as I would imagine feeling truly settled at nursery will take quite a few weeks yet for such a little person. The first day Tony took her, she cried at first because of somebody’s loud voice (she can be quite a sensitive soul at times) but the tears weren’t to do with being left at nursery and she was comforted and happy before he left. She has even settled herself to sleep easily both days – twice on the first day, and although she isn’t yet sleeping the two hour stretches she manages in the afternoon at home, she is doing pretty well I think in a totally new environment with new people.

The mornings have been the thing we have dreaded most, I think. Me trying to leave the house early in order to achieve my hours for the week, and Tony having to handle breakfast and the nursery run on his own for the first time. This has gone pretty well, apart from the fact that Isla has chosen this week to become a super-early riser. It has ranged from 4.50am to 4am to 4.30am to 5am. And she will not go back to sleep until an hour or so later. And by that time she has woken Lilly. So Tony and I have been very tired going to work this week – not great as he has to drive more than 300 miles a day. So we’re both keeping our fingers tightly crossed that Isla sorts herself out a bit and sleeps in a little later very soon.

Oh, and yesterday, Isla’s first tooth finally popped through! We’ve been able to feel it through her gums for a week now, and she’s been dribbling for England. But when I picked her up from nursery yesterday and she gave me a big, coy smile, I noticed the little white line on her bottom gum! She’s growing up so fast!

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Well, that’s it then. My maternity leave has finished. On Monday morning I will be rejoining the world of work. Yikes!

The last six months have flown. Actually, it’s been more than that, as I finished at 35 weeks and Isla was 12 days overdue.

Next week our new arrangements begin. I will be working five days a week, although two of those days will be mornings only. Tony’s mum will have the girls one day, they will be in nursery two days each week. And on the two days I’ll be working half days, Tony will have them in the morning and I’ll have them in the afternoon when he’s gone to work.

As far as we can practically afford, the arrangements are as good as they can be. It won’t be easy though. I’ll have to get to work for 8am to make my hours add up – that means leaving the house not too long after 7am each morning. Gulp.

And for Tony, it means coping with the morning routine alone, for the first time. I will try to help him by getting as many things as possible ready the night before, and doing as much as I have time for before I leave, but I know he’s still nervous about it – especially those days when he’s got to get them both out of the house to nursery!

Last week Isla had her taster sessions at nursery – an hour with me there on Wednesday, and hour on her own on Thursday. She wasn’t in the slightest bit phased – she is too young to really care, as long as she is fed and looked after as usual, she won’t mind in the slightest!

Leaving her at nursery was easy. Not like the first time I left Lilly, when I was an emotional wreck. But now, I know the nursery, I know the staff, I know Isla will be happy there and will develop well and will make friends, just like her big sister. I also know she’ll only be there two days a week. I do worry that the older babies will pull her hair, or fall on top of her, or that the staff will forget that she’s only been sitting up on her own a little while and she’s not too good at it yet. She needs lots of cushions behind her, because she’ll either fall over, or dramatically throw herself backwards.

And although it is easier this time, I still felt a little pang of pain when I was filling in the nursery forms for Isla and one of the boxes to fill in read: “When I am sad, please…” I don’t like to think of my little baby with the tears in her eyes and her mummy far away and not able to give her a cuddle…

BUT.

I know she will be fine. And our arrangement should work out great.

So I will concentrate on that.

And on HOW THE HECK I am going to leave the house by 7am on Monday morning…

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Well, it’s been a little while since I last blogged. There just doesn’t seem to have been any spare time anywhere the past few weeks to just spend half an hour with the computer… whenever there might have been a chance I’ve been so tired i’ve just been napping instead!

So, just to bring things up to date… We have, of course, been getting ready for Christmas the last few weeks. We had our Christmas tree up in the last weekend of November as we’re all really excited about this year and couldn’t wait! Lilly really understands everything this year, as she is nearly 3, and knows all about Father Christmas coming and what to expect. She isn’t frightened of Father Christmas anymore, and even spoke to him when she bumped into him at the local garden centre with her Nanna the other week. She has watched Peppa Pig’s Christmas more times than you can imagine, and now has a fixation with the fact that she wants a yoyo for Christmas – which is what Peppa Pig asks for. When she met Father Christmas, she told him she wanted “a yoyo, some scissors, and a baby toy for Isla”, and all from the top of her own head!

Winter arriving has also seemed to bring with it slightly better sleeping from Lilly. For the last two weeks or more, she has been trying very hard to sleep through the night, even managing it on a couple of occasions (Hallelujah!) We’re not quite sure where it’s come from, but I suspect it is partly motivated by Father Christmas watching and partly by a morning cup of hot chocolate, which she only gets if she’s been good the night before. At bedtime, she quite often tells me: “I sleep all night mummy, and then I have chocolate milk to keep my tummy warm, and for a special treat!” I don’t care what’s done it, I just hope it is a permanent improvement! She has still had the occasional night where she’s had to have somebody sleep in with her – the other night it was the wind whistling at the windows which woke her up and scared her – but at other times, even when she wakes, she is determined to go back to sleep and “sleep all night”.

It’s funny because the start of her better sleeping coincided with her being poorly. A couple of Friday nights ago, she was sick in the night a couple of times. Later in the week she had a bad chest infection complete with vicious cough, which needed antibiotics.

Unfortunately, whatever made her sick didn’t want to stop there, and a few days later, Isla was also being sick. The first time was at the end of her morning nap – when we went up to see her, her face was covered in it… she was crying like she was terrified, poor thing… awful. It seemed to only last a day and she remained in really good spirits throughout, but then, 6 days later, it came back – this time it seemed more like full blown gastroenteritis… and although she was over the worst of it in a day, two days later – you guessed it – Tony and I also had it. Urgh. All I can say is, if the girls felt anywhere near as awful as we did when we had it, they were very much braver than we were!!

Illness has also had a knock on effect on weaning, which really seems to have stalled. Since being poorly, Isla hasn’t been too keen on food and even the ones she had previously tried and seemed to quite like – carrot & banana – she doesn’t seem keen on anymore. Carrot got a full blown “yeuck!” face and banana didn’t fare much better. Parsnip has fared slightly better, but if there is even so much as the teeniest tiny-est lump (by which I mean a very soft piece, less than quarter the size of a pea), so much retching ensues I’m terrified she’s choking to death. In the last few days I haven’t given her any solids at all, and yesterday it was back to just one serving of porridge at breakfast. But I wouldn’t say her eating is particularly enthusiastic. She likes sitting in the highchair and getting plenty of one-on-one attention, but I get the impression she likes chewing on the spoon more than she likes eating the stuff on the spoon. We will just have to take things slowly and see if her enthusiasm builds I suppose.

And of course, it is only a matter of weeks now until the world is jumbled up all over again when I go back to work – I have now formally applied to do reduced hours, which will mean I will get two afternoons a week at home with the girls. And it is not so much the actual going back to work which worries me – I have done it before and know it won’t be too bad – it’s the logistics of how on earth I actually leave this house early enough in the morning to get there on time!! Doing the reduced hours means that, at least on two of the days, I need to be at work by 8am. It is 45mins drive away, plus ice scraping time. I am already imagining in my head the amount of military precision and night-before planning that will have to be done if I am to achieve this goal!

I’m also nervous about how Isla will take to nursery – generally I am sure all will be fine, Lilly was the same age when she started and never batted an eyelid. Isla is very laid back and accepting, so should be ok, but she also seems quite sensitive. I took the girls to a soft play place last week and had them both in the baby area where Lilly was enjoying the slide while Isla was looking at the other babies and toys. All of a sudden it all seemed to get a bit much for her and she started crying. I took her out for a while but when we went back in later, the same thing happened again. So I hope she will be ok with the bright and busy surroundings of nursery. Fingers crossed.

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Well, we’ve reached double figures!

I am still feeling a bit “car sick” every day. It last all day and fades in the evening time. I think it might be slightly less than a week ago, so hopefully it’s starting to go away as all the books promise. My boobs are now very tender for the first time this pregnancy too.

Went out shopping for maternity jeans today – my belly is pretty big already and although I can still squeeze into my jeans I don’t really like to in case I’m putting pressure on my tum. I tried on three pairs in Next and then swapped the ones I wanted for a size smaller as they felt a bit loose. When I got them home, I realised I’d picked up a different style…. grrrrrrr…. these ones make me feel like Kris Kross cos they fall down when I walk!! So, back to square one on that front.

Aside from the pregnancy, we’ve had news on T’s job. He works as a courier driver for a fairly small local company. The run he currently does, a cheque clearance one for a big bank, is going as his company have lost the contract. He’s been lucky as they want to keep him on and he has been spared redundancy for the second time. But his new run involves working 3pm until midnight every day – which means we won’t be seeing much of each other during the week, and we’re having to totally rethink all our childcare arrangements. Currently, Tony goes to work at 5.30am (which admittedly wasn’t great either!), I get Lilly up and drop her off at nursery on my way to work. Tony finishes work at lunchtime and has a couple of hours to himself before picking her up at about 3pm. As of next week, he’ll be dropping her off at nursery late morning, I’ll be finishing work early everyday to pick her up from nursery around 5pm and doing the bedtime routine by myself.

Neither of us are looking forward to this, and I think it’s going to be pretty lonely in the evenings once Lilly’s gone to bed, but at least he still has a job. Which is something we can only be greatful for in the current climate. And we’re taking heart in the fact that it won’t be forever – all being well I’ll be on maternity leave in six months time, so even if he hasn’t found anything else by then, at least we’ll have all day together with our babies.

Now we’re looking forward to the 12 week scan – only a week and a half to go – although I feel so nervous about it, I think i’ll be a wreck! I just want to know everything’s all right.

Oh, and I had my first slightly sleepless night last night thinking about the birth. I’d been having a conversation with T’s mum yesterday about Lilly’s birth and how unhappy I was with the way the consultant handled things. When I woke up last night about 3am to go to the toilet, my mind started racing about what would happen this time and I couldn’t get back to sleep for about an hour. I hope this isn’t a sign of things to come…

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Well, i am officially 8 months pregnant today, or, in more scientific terms, 35 weeks five days.

I finished work on Friday, so this is my second official day of being off work and I am loving it! Tony is home by late lunchtime because of his shifts, so i am not getting the chance to get too bored or lonely. I celebrated my first day off work with a couple of nice croissants whilst watching breakfast telly in my PJs… heaven!

Today I have put on a wash of baby whites, all the last sheets and blankets etc. I’ve also done my GBS home test, which i just need to post, and i’ve ordered my tens machine online. It will arrive three weeks before the due date, so we can have a practice.

We had our hopsital tour last week which wasn’t the best experience in the world. Didn’t help that the midwife who took us round was a bit odd. She didn’t really show us much or explain anything and the other people on the tour weren’t much help either. (She asked: “Do you all know about the pain relief on offer?” Answer from the group: “Yes.” End of subject. She asked: “Are you planning to have epidurals?” Answer from the group: “No.” End of subject.) Would have been good just to go over things anyway, for the less vocal in the group (i.e. me!). I mean, if these people know all the answers, what are they doing on the tour in the first place???

I was also downheartened to see the birthing pool (the only one in the unit) was basically a glorified bath in the disabled toilets! Although it has a door leading off one of the delivery suites, when it’s not in use by a person giving birth, it also has a door off the corridor and can be used as a toilet. I was in tears afterwards saying to Tony: “I don’t want my baby to be born in the toilet!” I know it’s probably a bit OTT and i’m not even sure what I think about waterbirth yet, but it just seemed so unlike how i would have imagined it… I thought the pool would be in the room where the bed etc was.

Oh yes, and the one piece of info that the midwife did give was that you can’t use the pool if you are “high risk” – which I am, but only because of medical history, not because of any complications with the birth. This really annoyed me as nobody has explained that there are implications like this to being high risk. What else does it mean that nobody has said? Last time i went to the consultant, he said everything was fine and there’s no reason for anything to be different from anyone else, but i’m still being seen as high risk and have to go back and see him again. Well, when i do i am going to ask about the birthing pool and what else there is that i “can’t” have because of being high risk.

Anyway, at least I have seen it now and i have a few weeks to come to terms with it! I definitely do not want to stay in there longer than i have to though. The ward was fine I suppose but it just reminded me of what it’s like to be in hospital and i’m definitely going to put in my birth plan that I want to be discharged as soon as possible.

I still haven’t packed my hospital bag yet, but i might get around to that tomorrow. I have a few things that i want to put in there that are in the wash at the moment. I also need to write my birth plan.

Me wise, I am feeling fine. A little bit slower than usual maybe and still get the occasional heartburn at night (Gaviscon works wonders though!). As the baby books and weekly emails told me, i can feel a few aches in my pelvis, which i’m taking as a good sign that things are happening as they should. And i’ve also noticed over the last few days that the baby is moving less, which i was starting to worry about until my babycentre.com email came through and said to expect that, as the baby now has less room to move. Once i had that reassurance, she seemed to start moving around again anyway… typical!

Right, best go, got a few things to do. Trying to make the most of these last few baby free weeks and make sure I am as organised as I’ll ever be.

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Had the 32 week scan on Thursday and it was all good news – baby has turned head down AND all her measurements were spot on. The sonographer said that she’s maybe slightly above average height-wise, but as me and her daddy are fairly tall, that’s no surprise!

There’s been other developments this week too (not on the me front!). A girl from our NCT classes has been admitted to hospital with pre-eclampsia and is due to have her c-section on Tuesday. We happened to bump into her husband when we were at the hospital for the scan on Thursday, and he said that she’ll be 36 weeks when she has the baby – but apparently the baby is only measuring 28 weeks. It all sounds a bit worrying and i really hope all will be fine. There’s also been a girl on Talking Point who was due on 25 Dec – five days after me – who had pre-eclampsia and has now had her baby, weighing just 3lbs!

I have to say it has made me think and i’ve now decided that i’ll finish work a week earlier than planned – at 35 weeks. I really, really do not want to be in work one day, in labour the next. I really want some time to go from being in work-mode to being in mummy-mode. I’m the kind of person that likes to be organised, and i think i need to ‘feel’ ready! I still think that the baby will probably be late, if anything, but i don’t really want to take the risk. I think too that, the bigger i get, and the more i see people around me having their babies, the more i think about the fact that there is a real, little baby person inside my tummy and the more i want to protect her.

On top of all that, work is not going to get any easier over the next few weeks. Ok, it is only a desk job, but it has been extremely busy of late, and as there is only me left doing my job, there isn’t anyone to ease the workload. So there’s no chance of winding down slowly!

Actually, they are in the process of interviewing for cover for my job, which, i have to say, is a bit weird. I can’t wait to finish and I don’t even enjoy my job at the best of times, but i still feel weirdly possessive over it and don’t want anyone else to have it!! What if they’re better than me? What if they turn out to be unbearable to work with (as they’ll still be there when I return, for a while at least)?!?! There’s no answer and i know i’m being silly!!!

Nothing much extra to report. Am still feeling fine, if just a little tired. Haven’t had much more heartburn, although i have the Gaviscon to hand just in case! Am hoping to get around to packing my hospital bag soonish… although I have finalised a list of things to go in it, so feel that little bit more organised now.

Am just looking forward to maternity leave now… three weeks to go!

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