…Starting nursery

It has been a busy few weeks in our household. Tony has started a new job, I am back after maternity leave. Lilly has finished nursery and we’ve been getting ready for the start of school. Eve is still waking in the night, and we’ve started weaning. We’ve organised and held a Christening. And Isla and Eve have started at nursery.

With all three girls I had a pretty similar amount of maternity leave – six months, give or take a few weeks. It was a little more with Isla and a little less with Eve, because of the various time of the year / financial circumstances.

Lilly started nursery at six months old, and was never really a problem, although she would never sleep in there. Isla started about seven months and never really settled. She didn’t sleep and she was a lot more distressed when you left her than Lilly ever was. She was ok, but we never thought she enjoyed it. She stayed at nursery until she was about 14 months and then Tony was made redundant and became a stay at home dad for a while instead.

Isla loved being at home with her daddy. But now he is back at work, and she is two years old, and for so many reasons we feel that now she really needs to get used to spending time away from us and enjoying the company of other children her own age. Watching Lilly so confidently looking forward to school is the clincher – nursery has helped make her a confident and outgoing child who cannot wait for the chance to make more friends, and we want the same for Isla in two years time.

We were not expecting this transition to be easy. I arranged with nursery that Isla would do four settling in sessions before her start date. The first one, I took her and stayed with her for the whole time. She wasn’t very sure when we walked in and asked a few times to go home. She wouldn’t acknowledge the other children, and got upset when they crowded round her to see the new girl. She liked painting but had a complete meltdown when one of the staff suggested she wear an apron! I could tell she liked the look of the slide and the cosy coupe car in the playground, but she refused to actually go on them. BUT… coming away from nursery she talked positively about the experience, told everybody who would listen about her painting and agreed to go back again the next week.

During the second session, I took Eve to the baby room at the same time. I reckoned that Eve would be absolutely fine, so we all spent a bit of time in the baby room before I took Isla next door. Then, I spent the hour going between the rooms to see both of them. Eve was absolutely fine, Isla cried and got upset everytime I went next door, although the amount of upset reduced noticeably each time, and I kept asking her: “Can mummy go next door to see Eve now?” and she would always agree, even if it was reluctantly.

So, on the third session, I dropped them off and left them for a full hour. My mum and I took Lilly to a cafe and we all talked about how weird it was to just be the three of us!

I left my mum and Lilly at the park and went back to get the two little ones. As I walked past the open window of the baby room, I heard a familiar high-pitched screaming… surely it couldn’t be?? She wasn’t due a bottle, or a sleep, or anything!

But yes, it was Eve, screaming, red faced and hysterical! The staff were trying in vain to calm her with a bottle, a dummy, anything!

Apparently, she had been fine, but then they had brought Isla in to visit her, because Isla was a bit upset. Seeing her baby sister seemed to work for Isla, and she calmed down. But it upset Eve and she had been screaming for the 20 minutes since!

After Eve was mainly calm, I carried her next door to find Isla. We spotted her before she spotted us – she was playing but her face was red and she was still gulping back sobs, trying to be brave. As soon as she saw us she exploded into tears – which set Eve off again screaming and screaming in my other arm!

Ah yes, it was definitely “one of those moments” – I’m sure any mum of more than one knows what I mean!

But, as we walked away from nursery, the sobs just about abated, Isla announced very loudly “We LOVE nursery!” which made all the staff laugh!

And, I’m happy to say that the fourth and final settling in session was a marked improvement. Isla didn’t cry at all, after the initial upset of me leaving. And Eve was happy and relaxed, even drifting off to sleep in her keyworker’s arms.

This was two weeks ago and things are still going fairly well. Eve has been absolutely fine, sleeping ok and never upset. Isla gets upset everytime I leave, but I am assured that she gets over it and has even started playing with some of the other children, a little tiny bit. Her favourite thing is the play kitchen and she spends a lot of her time there.

I don’t know whether Isla will ever be as enthusiastic about nursery as her big sister, or whether she will always have that little wobble knowing that we are about to leave her there. But Tony and I feel so strongly that this will be good for her in the long run, and it has to be done. We’ve been reading her all the ‘starting nursery’ books we can get our hands on and even Lilly has been roped in to tell Isla how great nursery is!

Hopefully this is the start of a very happy relationship, for both of them.

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Starting school…

Next week Lilly will start primary school – and she cannot wait!

Having been at nursery since she was six months old, thankfully going to school holds no fear for Lilly and I know she will go in on her first day without a backward glance.

The school Lilly will go to is the same school her daddy was preparing to enter for the first time 28 years ago, although a lot has changed since then!

Before the end of term last year Lilly had an afternoon session at the school, and a home visit from her lovely new teacher, Mrs S. She was absolutely in her element, especially exploring Reception class’s outside playarea (they have scooters and everything!) and she was extremely excited to discover the model making area inside – she wasted no time getting out the glue and creating herself a super glittery butterfly!

Her classroom even has a ‘snack station’ where the kids can help themselves to as much fruit as they like, and pour themselves a drink of water or milk.

Lilly finished nursery at the end of the last school term, so she has been off for six weeks and, although it hasn’t been as bad as we thought it might have been, it has probably been a little bit boring for her while she looks forward to school and misses her nursery friends (none of whom are going to the same school). She has coped admirably, but she does ask quite often “am I starting school next week? How many weeks to go?”

We have now got all the uniform and all the stuff we need. School meals are chosen and pre-ordered online (how fancy!) We are all absolutely itching to get started with this exciting new chapter in Lilly’s life.

The only one out of all of us who does have some nagging doubts is me. I feel a little bit sad that Lilly will no longer be “ours”. We can’t just decide to keep her off school because we’re going to go on a fun day out instead. We’ll only get time with Lilly when school term time says we can. And we won’t be swanning off to Center Parcs every five minutes because it is SO BLOODY EXPENSIVE out of term time.

Also, Isla is going to be bereft without her little buddy to play with everyday. She doesn’t realise what is about to happen, but I know she will really miss her big sister. She has just started nursery two days a week, which will help (seperate blog post to come about that one…) but it will be no substitution for Lilly. Today, Isla has been poorly and fed up with a high temperature. I sent Tony out with the other two girls to make the most of the Bank Holiday Monday and Isla and I have been snuggled on the sofa while she feels a little bit sorry for herself. But when Lilly returned, Isla was transformed! Perked up straight away and was straight off the sofa wanting to play.

All in all though, I am excited too. Lilly is SO ready for school. Ready to learn, ready to make lots of new friends. I will be so proud the day I see my biggest baby in her school uniform with her book bag hopping from foot to foot because she’s so desperate to get going. And I know it will make me think back to that moment, just after she’d been born, when I looked at this teeny tiny baby that I’d wanted so desperately, and realised it had really happened, she was mine, to look after and love forever. And now that little baby is a little schoolgirl, full of so much potential.

Will I cry when I drop her off on the first day? No.

I don’t think so, anyway…

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A quick catch-up

Well, it has been a while since I last had a chance to post on here – life has been very busy in the last six weeks!

First of all, we enjoyed a lovely holiday at Center Parcs with the inlaws when Eve was three weeks old. It was the first time we have gone with other people, so we were able to do some activities ourselves with the extra help with the girls – which meant that Tony got to go Quad Biking and I tried Tree Trekking! And the girls had a few adventures including a dance class for Lilly and the tots play zone for Isla (and Lilly, who wanted to join in, despite being a little bit too big!). I also took Lilly to her first Pantomime which she seemed quite impressed by. The weather was lovely so we even managed a barbecue on one of the days!

We returned home from Center Parcs on Friday, and on Saturday, we moved house! The whole family helped us – either by minding the girls or lifting and shifting. Three van loads later and all our things were in the new house! I made sure the girls new room was one of the first things to be properly unpacked and ready, so in the afternoon when they arrived all their clothes and toys were in their room ready for them to find. Lilly had seen the house before – she came round with us when we viewed it – but Isla hadn’t been here before. We had worried that she might find the transition a bit stressful, but she has taken it all in her stride. In fact, when she walked in the front door, she said: “WOW!”, and Lilly was also impressed: “I knew it was going to be nice, but I didn’t know if was going to be THIS nice”.

And on the Monday after we moved, Tony returned to work – back to his old company on the early shifts – so he has been getting up at 4.30am everyday and getting home for around 1pm. Looking after the three girls on my own has been (how shall we put this…) challenging at times. It has been made very much easier by the fact that there is now plenty of space for the girls to play – they even have their own playroom (what should be the dining room) and in the first couple of weeks after we moved the weather was glorious, so they have been able to play happily outside in the nice big garden.

Eve is growing nicely and we have had first smiles! She is sleeping much longer stretches at night. However, she is a NIGHTMARE to get to sleep – she fights tiredness something chronic (just like her biggest sister) and ends up getting overtired very easily. The last four nights she has been up til 10pm ish screaming on and off. She still prefers to be held and will fall asleep in your arms… but if you try to put her down she will wake up and resume screaming so the whole process has to start again. Very tiring. I am hoping that this little phase won’t last too much longer!

Eve's preferred place to sleep

And of course we have just enjoyed Easter weekend – something Lilly has been looking forward to ever since her birthday at New Year! The girls have had so many Easter Egg hunts I suspect that the novelty might actually have worn off a bit! We also did our first ever baking session with Isla, making Easter nests. She seemed to enjoy it – especially licking the spoon (and just eating handfuls of the mixture generally).

So, that’s where we have been and what we have been doing. If we ever manage to get Eve into a more favourable evening routine I will be blogging her birth story… it already feels like a long time ago as so much has happened!

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Things do when your baby is four days old…

1. Decide (once again) to move house!

Yes, our house move is back on and this time we are so INCREDIBLY EXCITED about it all because the house which popped up for rent when Eve was 3-days-old was in our most favourite part of our most favourite road and it had everything we wanted but thought we would never get - three bedrooms, utility room, downstairs loo, large kitchen diner AND seperate dining room, garage, large garden and even an en suite in the master bedroom.

It was so perfect that the very next day there we were with our 4-day-old baby, having a look around and signing up to move in in just 3 weeks time!

I know lots of people think we’re crazy! But this house really feels perfect for us. It is literally a stone’s throw from what will (hopefully) be Lilly’s new school come September, and it offers us the space we have been craving for so long. It is so much better than the house we nearly went for a few weeks ago.

There are only a couple of negatives – some of the decor isn’t to our taste and the kitchen is a little dated. And we are stretching ourselves to the upper limit of what we can afford. But we both feel confident that it is going to be so worth it.

Now we just have to find somebody to rent ours out – the house is back on the rental market – and of course we have to pack up our things and move!

And, in other developments, it looks like hubby may be going back to work for a bit – while I’m off on maternity leave. We got home from viewing our new house and he had a call out of the blue from his old boss offering him some work. We hadn’t really planned for him to actively job hunt (he is the stay at home parent now, and I will only be off work until June) but we feel that we’d be stupid to turn down an offer of some additional income at the moment. We are now waiting to finalise the details, but it looks like I may be flying solo with the three girls in a few weeks time – which makes me nervous and excited in equal measures.

So, there you go – Things to Do When Your Baby is 4 Days Old: Move house and get a new job!

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Four days over…

Yes, OF COURSE I’m still pregnant!

Due date came and went on Monday without any excitement. And there hasn’t been any since then, not in terms of the baby trying to come, anyway.

However, it has been an eventful few days in other ways. On Tuesday we made our first parental emergency dash to hospital after Isla had a really nasty fall and banged her head. We had had a nice trip to the zoo and were on our way home when she fell walking up the garden path and landed with her head right where the bricks stick up underneath the front door. I was in the house in front of her, Tony was walking behind her, and neither of us could do anything but watch… horrific. Such a big bang and her head went instantly blue, it looked like it was dented… a few seconds later the most enormous egg shaped lump appeared. As you would expect, the screams were unmerciful. I think it is probably the worst bump I have witnessed with either child… I got a bit upset, especially when she seemed to go a little bit sleepy once the initial crying stopped, and I demanded we take her to the Walk In Centre, although hubby thought I was overreacting. We kept a cold compress to her head all the way and by the time we got there there swelling had gone down a lot. By the time we were in the waiting room she was running about as normal! The triage nurse was really nice and realised all we really needed was reassurance – she checked her over there and then and just told us to look out for symptoms like being sick etc in the next 24 hours. Isla was none the worse for her experience, but it was haunting me seeing it happen everytime I closed my eyes… my poor, poor baby!

Yesterday we spent the day with my mum and in the afternoon Isla had two loose nappies so we started to worry that she might be coming down with something. There is a LOT of Winter Vomiting Bug going around – in fact we have taken Lilly out of nursery the last week because a lot of the kids there have had it and we didn’t want her bringing it home at this crucial time. A short while after she went to bed we heard a noise from Isla’s room that sounded like she was going to be sick, though luckily she wasn’t - but that was it, our nerves were shot! Hubby and I were sat on the sofa like condemned men, waiting for the inevitable…

We decided in the end that Tony would sleep on the floor in the girls room so he could listen out for any signs of illness in the night (Luckily for me, I am way too pregnant to sleep on the fold out bed!). He did not have a good night, as Isla was whimpering pretty much all night, as if she was having stomach cramps, but was never actually sick. We let him have a big lie-in this morning to make up for it and, thank goodness, Isla seems ok today – a little bit off par perhaps, but it seems we may have avoided the full force of Winter Vomiting… for now (*starts touching all the wood in the house like a crazy person*)

And today, once we had all recovered from the nighttime shenanigans, we went for a pub lunch followed by a little stroll around the local park in the drizzle. Thankfully the cold weather seems to have warmed up a bit and there is not too much danger of snow and ice for the next week or so!

One of the highlights of the day today, baby wise, was a teeny breakthrough with Isla. I was cuddling her and saying: “I love my Lilly, I love my Isla, I love the new baby”… and she patted my tummy and said: “Baby, baby”, then patted her own belly and said it again! Later on we tested her and asked: “Where’s our new baby?” and she again patted my tummy and said “baby, baby”. So it seems that some information about the baby has gone in… obviously it doesn’t mean anything about how she might react to the reality of the new baby once it arrives, but I feel happy that she at least has some inkling, even if very, very deep down!

Although I think we are still remaining quite calm about the fact that we are once again into Extra Time, it did hit me today that this time next week will be the last chance saloon, as induction looks like it will be on Saturday. Knowing we probably only have one week left, maximum, is a bit of a reality check!

I think it is probably time to step up the hot curries and pineapple consumption!

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Peppa Pig: Corrupting little minds since 2004

I noticed today that Peppa Pig was trending on Twitter. I was curious, so I clicked and discovered what everyone was tweeting about – this article in the Daily Mail about parents claiming that Peppa Pig is a bad influence on toddlers.

We are big Peppa fans in our house. The first episode I ever saw was when Lilly was a baby. It was the one where they go on a picnic & Daddy Pig is scared by a wasp. It made me laugh & reminded me of our family… Not only because Hubby does tend to overreact at insects, but also because Peppa’s family are a nice, normal bunch, doing nice, normal, family type things. There is humour in basic everyday situations without the use of magic or anything complicated or scary to young kids. And I think Peppa Pig is something that reflects normal families and that children identify with.

Apparently though, the programme is really much more sinister. Did you know that Peppa Pig was the first one to give toddlers the ideas to:

• Splash in muddy puddles, rather than walk carefully round them, being sure not to get their nice shoes dirty
• Learn to say (and use) the word “No”
• Sometimes be cheeky & perhaps even not do what their parents ask them to do straight away & without complaint

And, most shockingly:

• Prefer chocolate cake to lettuce & cucumber!!!

My two girls are big Peppa fans, so imagine my guilt as I now realise I have let this evil, one dimensional, pink MONSTER get into their very souls & corrupt them, right there in my living room!!!!

God knows what would happen if children grew up watching cartoons like Tom & Jerry. I can only imagine the number of parents whose offspring would immediately leap up from the sofa & start hitting each with saucepans or using sticks of dynamite to blow up their parents. It’d be chaos!!

And what about Norman from Fireman Sam? If that kid doesn’t have an ASBO by the time he’s 15 I’ll be GOBSMACKED.

I must admit, however, that in the past a couple of real life mums have said to me that they think Peppa Pig is “spoilt”. But I don’t agree. I think she’s just lucky enough to come from a stable, happy family, and she’s loved. And anyway, look at the evidence, all she wanted for Christmas was a yoyo! And for her birthday she got one poxy piece of clothing – for her teddy!

In my opinion, if you want spoilt pigs, look no further than the ghastly Olivia, who has to always be the best & get all the attention, and her mum & dad find her oh-so adorable for doing so. Or that incredibly irritating Angelina Ballerina. Both a big pair of brats, if you ask me.

There are many more things on the TV that I prefer my little ones not to watch. Scooby Doo, for example, which has given my 4-year-old way too many nightmares and consequently given us way too many broken nights (cheers a bunch for letting all the kids watch it, nursery).

So, lay off the Pig, you crazy, hysterical people!

 

Related articles

• Peppa Pig is ‘making children naughty’, parents fear (telegraph.co.uk)
• Is Peppa Pig making toddlers naughty? Parents despair as children copy cartoon by answering back (dailymail.co.uk)
• So Peppa’s been a naughty pig. Do you worry about children’s TV shows? | Open thread (guardian.co.uk)

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4th birthday party fun

Well, we all surivived hosting our first proper children’s party – and I am happy to report that the star of the show had a fabulous time too!

I blogged a few weeks ago about preparation for Lilly’s 4th birthday party, and the stresses of who to invite and how many.

The party was held at our favourite local soft play place on New Year’s Eve, and we ended up sending out 14 invitations to Lilly’s friends from nursery (whittled down from a list of about 20 names that they helped us come up with).

In the run up to the day we had only had 9 RSVPS, and still had 6 we hadn’t heard from. That despite the fact that I put reminders in all the Christmas cards, grrrrr. Luckily the place only charged us for the number of children who turned up on the day, not the number we expected. As it turned out, none of the non-repliers turned up, as I suspected they might have done, and all those who had confirmed arrived, except one little girl whose mum text to tell us she was ill. It meant a total of 10 children at the party, which was more than enough I think!

We arrived at the venue about half an hour before the party was due to begin – Lilly was on tenterhooks waiting at the door for the first of her friends to arrive! As soon as they started arriving we hardly saw her, she was off having loads of fun, still wearing the tiara she insisted on having on because she was being a birthday princess!

The children played in the soft play for a while before the bouncy assault course was blown up in the party room, and they were called through. Lilly had a couple of half hearted bounces on it before declaring it “too bouncy for me” and going off to do other things! With a bit of gentle persuasion (the bouncy castle was £25 extra!) and a leg up she eventually came round to the idea of the bouncy course and managed to get a good few goes on the slide in before it was deflated again.

All the excitement of the bouncing sent some of the boy guests a little bit hyper and they were off running around the soft play and weren’t interested in the prospect of returning to the party room for a quiet spot of Pass The Parcel. In contrast, the girls were only too ready to sit nicely in a circle cross legged and patiently waiting for the more rowdy boys to make an appearance!

After pass the parcel they played some parachute games, which some of the parents joined in for and which all the children seemed to enjoy. Then it was time for party food, after the blowing out of the candles on the Hello Kitty cake and everybody singing Happy Birthday.

Isla wasn’t in the best of moods, because she’d refused her morning nap. Luckily we had Nanna, Grandad, Aunty and Uncle and Grannie on hand to help out. She played in the soft play while most of the party games and bouncy castle were going on, and then joined in when the food was served. She couldn’t belive how brilliant it was getting a hotdog, slice of chocolate swiss roll, cheesey wotsits and a malted milk biscuit all on one plate! And then they brought her jelly too! She was in heaven!

After the party, family all came back to our house for a little while, Lilly opened all her presents (spoilt rotten, again!) and we had some cupcakes which I had baked and iced to spell out ‘Lilly 4′.

All in all I think she had a fabulous day and was chuffed to bits to be four, although she did ask: “Do I still go to nursery now?” because she knows that four year olds start school!

In all it cost us just over £100 which, considering we didn’t have to do anything except decide who to invite and then invite them, wasn’t too bad, I don’t think. But I guess this children’s party thing could get more expensive once we have three all wanting parties!

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Our first taste of children’s party planning

This year, as Lilly turns four, is the first time we will be hosting a ‘proper’ birthday party for her – you know, the type where we invite other children who aren’t family.

We’ve chosen to take up the offer of a party package at one of the local soft play places that we like the best in the belief that this will be minimum stress for everyone involved – especially bearing in mind that it will be between Christmas and New Year, and that I will be seven and a half months pregnant!

But, as party time comes around I am learning that it is never going to be totally stress free, even if the venue is taking care of the party games, food and even the party bags.

It’s the guest list that is making me anxious. And the thought: will anyone come?! Or will too many people come?

I don’t really know many of the parents of Lilly’s friends in nursery, and I have no idea whether a kids birthday party between Christmas and New Year is likely to be a) popular because people are looking for things to do to entertain their child while nursery is closed or b) not very successful as people are busy visiting family etc. I don’t want to break the bank by inviting way too many children and then they all turn up, but I don’t want it being crap if only a few can make it.

There was also a stress yesterday when I contacted Lilly’s best friend’s mum to see if he could make it on the date we had planned on – the day before her actual birthday. Disaster – he couldn’t! So now I need to contact the place to see if they have any availability the next day (Lilly said: “If Daniel doesn’t come to my party, I will be sad!”)

As for the rest of the guest list, getting names of friends from Lilly isn’t easy! So I’ve asked nursery to help me out with some suggestions of the main children she usually plays with. Everyday Lilly tells me who she does and doesn’t want at her party anymore. “X isn’t coming to my party anymore, because he was a bit naughty today,” she’ll say. Then: “Actually, X is coming now because he said he will be good”, etc etc! This obviously changes everyday! I would love to be a fly on the wall at nursery because I can imagine there is plenty of “you’re not coming to my party anymore” stuff flying around among all those 3 & 4 year olds!!

So, anyone out there with party planning survivial tips, please get in touch!

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All change for us (again!)

As seems to have happened too many times recently, family life in our house has undergone yet another dramatic change – all in the space of the past week!

In fact, it is hard to believe that only just over a week has gone by since Tony found out his job was ending and he was being made redundant.

But, fear not, in those 10 days we have formulated a grand plan which has left us feeling much more positive about our future and about how we will cope, not only with the redundancy bombshell, but also with the terrifying prospect of paying nursery fees for two children under 2 next year!

Basically, with some financial reshuffling and some cost savings made (bye bye my old Fiat Punto, faithful friend of three years, hello one-car family!), we think we have found a way to make it work if hubby becomes “Daddy Daycare” and stays at home with the children for a while, and I return to full time working from my previous four days.

Luckily, my work were very accomodating and changed my contract the same day I put in my request. And nursery were kind and only made us give one week’s notice for the girls. Lilly will still go three afternoons a week, using her 15 hour free entitlement (something all over threes get), but Isla will stay at home with her daddy full time for the time being. (She is already the biggest of daddies girls, so don’t think she will mind this!)

I am now the proud owner of a railpass, and hubby is full of ideas of places to go, things to do. And, after many hours of calculations and worry, we think we can make the sums add up.

And now, as we start to settle into the new routine and come to terms with how things have changed over such a short space of time, I think we are both starting to think that things will be better, not worse.

Now we just wait to see how hubby will cope with his new job… ten times more demanding than anything he’s ever done before!

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Two little lines

It’s funny how two little lines can turn your world upside down in an instant.

Two little lines can force you to re-think everything: the job you do, how often you do it. The car you drive, the house you live in. The money you spend, the holidays you go on. The commitments you have, the favours you ask.

Two little lines have made their way into our lives on two previous occasions, but it was different then. We knew (or hoped) they were coming. We planned for them in advance. We had some idea how we would manage, how things would work out.

But when two little lines popped up on Thursday night we were not expecting them. No, not at all. But, there they were.

It was the day after Isla’s first birthday. The test was only a cheapy one – picked up for 99p as an afterthought. It was meant to confirm that I wasn’t pregnant. I never, ever expected to see those two lines, ever again!

But there they were, clear as day, as soon as the test was done. We didn’t know what to think, how to react. A 10.20pm dash to a 24 hour supermarket followed, a slightly dazed purchase was made and a Clearblue Digital confirmed both that I was pregnant and also that I am “at least” five weeks so.

Oh. My. Goodness.

The last couple of days have been a blur.

 

We can’t afford a baby

We haven’t got room for a baby

We already have a baby – she’s only just ONE!

What will our families say?

What will my work say?

How on earth will we afford childcare for three?!?!?

How will we cope?

 

We still haven’t got answers to those questions, to be honest. But after a lovely night away for our anniversary this weekend, everything is starting to sink in a little bit more.

 

We can have another baby, we will find room, we will work out a way to manage.

 

What we lack in space or finance we will make up for with love – not only from us, but from this baby’s sisters and his or her extended family.

So, there it is. Our family of four looks likely to be about to be come a family of five.

YIKES!!!!!!!

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